The facts

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You grow up with a menagerie of thoughts regarding how your teen-adult life will play out. Will you be super popular in high school? Who cares. Will your childhood best friend still remain a central part of your life? Eh, probably not. Will your first kiss blow your mind? Lol. No one knows really, how their life will turn out. A positive outlook helps, of course, and only you can make your life into what you want it to be, but most of the time, we have zero control over the events that take place. Yes, we have control over our own happiness (remember that). Don’t let others dictate your happiness. Unfortunately, shit happens.

Pain is inevitable. We all get hurt. Some don’t experience true pain until they’re much older, but no one’s immune to sadness. We all forget at times that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel (no matter how long the tunnel). I was raped. I never thought in a million years that I’d become a sexual assault victim before the age of 17. I didn’t know that any guy in my life was capable of such violence. When you’re young you don’t think that anything bad will ever happen to you. When you’re on a roller coaster ride as a young child and you’re absolutely terrified, and to quiet your thoughts you say to yourself, “What are the odds that something would go wrong while I’M on this ride?” Yeah, when you’re a child the odds are always in your favor. As I got older I realized that I have just as great a chance of getting shot, or struck by lightening as anyone else…even a roller coaster collapsing while I’m on it. It doesn’t matter who you are, who your family is, what car you drive, how pretty your hair looks on any given day. Life happens…to everyone.

Hollywood is and always was inaccurate. Hopefully, we all understand this truth by now. Don’t ever watch a movie or TV show and expect that that’s how your life will be. Wrong. I really thought my high school experience would be just like One Tree Hill, or when I was younger, Lizzie McGuire (where was my Gordo when I needed him?). Movies for the most part aren’t meant to be realistic; they’re meant to be glamorous and exciting. Why would you pay to go see a movie where NOTHING happens? Oh, nice Bob got his mail, ate breakfast, and then watched a movie on Netflix. What a snore. Real life is either extremely boring (no drama or excitement) or it’s just flat out hard and complicated. There’s nothing glamorous about being slapped by your supposed “lover”, or about lying on the bathroom floor, choking on tears, after swallowing down a bunch of pills (trust me I’d know). When you’re alone in the dark, you’re truly alone in the dark. This isn’t a CW TV show. There isn’t a sappy theme song playing in the background of your everyday life. When you’re sad, you’re just sad until you’re not anymore.

Crying isn’t beautiful. Anyone who views crying as beautiful has clearly never cried over anything significant, ever. Crying is gross and messy. For us girls, crying ruins our makeup…sometimes even with waterproof mascara, btw.

No one will save you. The only person capable of saving you, is you. When you’re seconds away from giving up, the likelihood that prince charming will ride up and help you pick up the pieces, is slim to none. You want to meet your prince charming? Live your life. Go out and meet new people on a daily basis. Grab a cup of coffee in the morning at your neighborhood coffee shop. Hold the door open for someone. Go shopping and smile when a stranger walks by. You’ll find him, but sitting in your bedroom dreaming about him won’t make him appear any faster.

Never envy another person’s relationship; whether it’s a friendship, family relationship, or a romantic relationship. Maybe it’s amazing, but hey you never know! A lot can happen behind closed doors. People are abused behind closed doors and made to feel worthless. Celebrities are a perfect example of the usual relationship envy. How many celebrity couples actually remain together? Kim Kardashian was married for five minutes. These people aren’t who you should be idolizing or aspiring to be like, especially when it comes to relationships. We know nothing about them, but in our society people grow up thinking that celebrities are a huge part of our lives. No, not really. I don’t ever remember Tom Cruise coming over and offering to help me clean the house, or Meryl Streep calling to wish me a happy birthday. We can’t wait to here the latest gossip, right? Someone cheated. Someone was sent to rehab. The average person walks into rehab and is cheated on by their partner daily, but their stories aren’t read by millions. We all know someone who watches Netflix shows and talks about their favorite show’s characters as if they’re old friends (I’m definitely like this when it comes to Gilmore Girls, I admit).

No one can eat a spread of unlimited food without either gaining weight, or getting really sick. Have you ever watched the Real Housewives franchise (used to be my obsession)? Ever notice how at every dinner party that’s thrown there’s table after table with beautifully prepared food, but obviously none of those women eat! They spend so much money on food and appearance…but like who are you trying to fool ladies? We all know the only thing in your system is a cube of cheese and gin.

Sex. Oh, now I have your full attention? I think sex is great. I think it’s a healthy part of any romantic relationship and it can be pretty amazing ;), but listen up ladies…don’t compare your sex lives to sex scenes on film or even in books. What was I just saying? Hollywood is bullshit, basically. Your first time is probably going to be awful (sorry). Mine was awkward and incredibly painful. There were no fireworks or candles lit around me. My dogs were gathered around me and a remote was shoved under my back. I had to take Plan B (definitely not glamorous lol) the next day because I was fifteen and stupid. I was too young, and too naive. Waiting is fine. Don’t judge those who choose to wait, but don’t judge those who chose not to wait until marriage to have sex, either. Everyone is free to feel however they want to feel about sex. Yay, America. If you’re not ready, that’s fine, but if you thought you were and ended up regretting it afterwards…that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up over it. We’ve all been there. I don’t believe in regrets, but there were definitely duds. Honestly, I never saw the point in waiting (that’s just me). I’m glad I didn’t wait, because if I had, at nineteen I would’ve had nothing to compare my current sex to. The reason I know I’m finally with the right guy, and the reason I enjoy sex so much now, is because I already went through the not-so-great sex experiences. Everyone has them. Not every guy or girl you go home with is going to ignite your bones. I wanted to get the initial sucky first time over with. If the only thing you enjoy doing with your significant other is having sex, there’s a lot missing in your relationship. The laughs and exciting adventures I have with my man are equally as important to me as the sex. If he (or she) can’t make you smile when you’re feeling down, they’re not the right one for you, no matter how much you like having sex with them. Don’t base your entire relationship with a person off of the sex you have. Oh, yeah…if you expect a person to just be your friend (with zero change) after having sex with them, you’re going to be very disappointed. Sex doesn’t have to change a friendship, but usually it does. I’ll pick this subject back up at a later date. That’s enough PG-13 material on my blog, for one day.

Daily ramblings Xo Lizzie

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The Author

My favorite flower is a hydrangea and I believe in art & adventure. If you need someone to talk to, email me! I'm a great listener. Xo

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