Yes, girls. We’re filled with surprises and unexpected twists and turns. I cannot relate to every girl on this planet, because I’m not every girl, I’m me. With that being said there are many things that almost every girl can relate to (periods, pregnancy, boys never fucking understanding us, etc.). Girls do a lot of things that even being a female, I don’t fucking get. I am not leaving myself out of this blog post, because trust me, there are things that I do which don’t really make any sense.
I am a super neat freak. I clean so much that I should honestly just make a career out of it, but if you know where to look, you’ll find many of the same item. Why? I don’t know. Shampoo bottles. Oy. Why the hell do we need ten half filled containers of the same shampoo and conditioner? And of course it’s all the same bottle, because we find the perfect hair fit and that’s just our shit forever…or until we find something “better” (probably contains the exact same ingredients). Why not just use one, finish it completely, toss it out, and THEN buy another? Because that would make WAY too much sense. I’ve always done this. I’ll be at Walmart or Target and I will have the urge to buy more conditioner or shampoo. It doesn’t matter if I have more than enough at home. Am I stocking up for some sort of apocalypse? If so, I’m ready. I am constantly buying new lipstick and basically, purposely forgetting (so that I can buy another) that I already have that exact same color at home. Who doesn’t need five identical red lipsticks? Girls hoard. Some girls hide it better than others, but I completely admit that I hoard certain items. PURSES. I am addicted to buying them. I always want another. I know that I only need one. I put my shit in it and that’s it, but it doesn’t work that way. Every time I’m out shopping (especially at Marshalls with its endless rows of designer bags), I either contemplate for 30 minutes buying another bag, or I actually buy one. I don’t care. I love them.
Why does EVERYTHING require a selfie? Girls post selfies after car accidents, during sex, and even after being hospitalized. “I’m standing by the mailbox!!” Well, I guess it’s time for a selfie. I walked into a girl the other day who was dramatically taking a selfie in the middle of an isle at Rite Aid. Like, I’m just trying to grab some razors and leave lady. I get it. We love to document ourselves (all of the fucking time), but sometimes selfies are just not appropriate. So, why? If your mobile uploads album on Facebook is filled with endless pictures of your face in different locations and nothing else, take some pictures of your cat or if you don’t have a cat, go to a park and take a picture of a flower. Some girls even have albums titled “Me” on Facebook. Is it really necessary to label the album as “Me”? I mean, duh. If I am your friend on social media and I see pictures of you…I don’t need to be reminded of the fact that it’s you. I love selfies, don’t get me wrong, and it’s okay to think you look super crazy awesome, but I don’t understand why every waking moment of every day requires a picture of your face. Now, some guys are guilty of this too (weird); the never ending flow of social media selfies, but girls definitely take the selfie game to a whole other level.
Oh, crying. Why do girls cry over absolutely everything, even when it isn’t our time of the month? We don’t have an answer for you. We just…cry. If we don’t like our outfit and our hair isn’t bouncing and behaving, tears. If our boyfriend is being a jerk, tears. If we’re super tired and therefore cranky, tears. When in doubt, just cry! Hey, crying is healthy. I mean if you don’t cry and let it out every once in a while you’ll explode at the worst possible times. But, sometimes girls tend to cry at the worst possible moments anyway…and for no apparent reason! Crying is for sure, super gross and messy, and boys will constantly make fun of us for being “overly” emotional, but they’ll never understand! Hell, we don’t even understand!
Why are you mad?
This is very similar to the above mentioned topic of crying! Girls are typically angry 85% of the time. We have a lot to be angry about, obviously (internal struggles, men, not having enough money for new makeup, mother nature’s monthly gift, etc.). Usually our anger is taken out on the males in our life (most of the time they deserve it). Our boyfriends and husbands are constantly making us angry, and for the most part because they will never truly get us. Again, we don’t even get us. We’re complicated and challenging even on our best days! Men try…but, sometimes that trying does more harm than good. How many times has your significant other pissed you off, you tried talking to them about your feelings, and then instead of making it all better, they make it worse? Ugh, the struggle. Girls speak their own language; a language that the male population has been trying to decode for many, many years. Why do we let stupid insignificant crap piss us off? If we wake up in a bad mood (mad), and usually we don’t have a good reason for being mad so early in the morning, it will take us way too long to feel better and just get over it. Oh well! Let’s just waste away the day being mad about nothing 🙂 We might just snap continuously throughout the day, for no reason (just keeping it interesting). If you’re being an idiot, forget about it! We’ll be mean to you just because your presence is an annoyance…and that’s the truth. No one can hold a grudge like a girl or fight like a girl. I wouldn’t get into a fight with me, just saying. Girls can slay others with their words, whether their words are accurate or not! We don’t care. If we have something to say, you’ll hear about it…for hours.
Assholes finish first
We’ve all been there! We’ve all chased after an asshole (or twenty) who didn’t deserve our attention or tears, but despite knowing from the beginning that he was a piece of shit, we continued to want him. Why? Why not chase after the nice guy who would’ve given his right leg to spend any time with you? Well, obviously because he didn’t have any tattoos or a motorcycle…NEXT.
I will pick this topic up again, at a later date Xo