Good morning dear readers! I am busy doing laundry, writing, and of course, being a mama this morning. I am planning on having two of my closest friends over this evening for dinner and I’m trying to find the energy to make it through the day. For some reason, I am running on empty. It’s cold and windy again in my neck of the woods, so I am cuddled in a sweater and leggings, sipping on hot tea. I hope you’re all looking forward to Easter (and Passover if you celebrate the holiday). I celebrate both Passover and Easter, which makes next weekend a busy one for me. I need to plan and print out my Easter menu, because I always cook for that holiday (one of my favorites).
I want to take a moment to talk about mindset, today. I want to help you all feel a little less stressed, or tired, or overwhelmed as we move through spring. I am an expert on anxiety and managing stress, which comes from suffering from anxiety my whole life and from having to overcome trauma, more than once.
Have you ever felt as though you’re drowning under commitments, emotions, or other people’s expectations of you and who you’re “supposed” to be? Do you ever lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, unable to quiet your thoughts? You’re far from alone. I am having one of those overwhelming days, myself, due to someone else causing unwanted stress in my life. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can choose how we react to their actions and what we do afterwards. Remember, you can always choose to distance yourself from anyone or anything that causes you stress and anxiety.
We have all had days of pure anxiety and stress, days that feel overwhelming. A healthy, positive mindset can change everything and help move you forward towards happiness and peace. What is mindset? For those of you who enjoy diving deeper into definitions and meanings, mindset is the established set of attitudes held by someone. Mindset is a mental attitude. For example, some people have a fixed mindset, one that cannot be changed. There are people who have a fixed mindset on many aspects of life, such as their ability to forgive a person who has wronged them. If you deem yourself someone who will always hold a grudge, you’re creating a fixed mindset, one that you don’t wish to change. Other people have a true growth mindset, which means they’re always willing to learn, progress, and grow, which leads to their success and strength in life. A positive mindset leads to growth. If you view yourself as a failure and someone that will never amount to anything, or someone that will always be a certain way, you’re setting yourself up for negativity and zero mobility forward. If you believe that you’re capable of greatness, success, and happiness, you will find all three, no matter how much time it takes. Growth is essential in life for us to become who we truly are. I am not the same person I was even a year ago, because I am constantly growing and learning.
It’s important to put other people’s opinions, expectations, and beliefs in a box. Place that box on a shelf somewhere and focus on what’s inside you. What’s your opinion on a situation? What’re your personal expectations/goals and what’re your beliefs? Those questions are important because they’re about you and no one else. Another person can often affect our mindset, but only if we let them. You cannot make everyone happy and that isn’t your job. You also can’t force a person to believe you, see you, or understand you. It’s okay to walk away from a conversation that’s going nowhere, or let go of trying to fix something that’s clearly unfixable. You can try forever, but if the other person isn’t capable of growth, you may very well be wasting precious time and causing yourself stress.
If you’re in a conversation with someone whose repeatedly trying to force you to see their point of view, but they refuse to see your own, remove yourself. If you’re arguing with someone constantly, remove yourself. If you’re always defending yourself to someone, remove yourself. There’s an old, Mexican expression I heard from a friend of mine a long time ago that states, “When a person is persistently looking for trouble, they’re looking for tits on an ant.” If someone wants so badly for there to be a problem, they will search for one vigorously, and they will often create one out of thin air. Some people cause trouble and issues, instead of just taking a moment to see the other person’s wants, needs, and point of view. They will pick a fight, regardless of what you say and do, and those people are exhausting and incredibly hard to deal with. Again, you cannot control another person, but you can control how that person makes you feel. Take a breath, take a moment, and move forward, with or without the other person. You don’t need anyone’s permission to move on. I’ve never been someone who enjoys drama or conflict, but I have certainly learned over the years how to handle myself and how to stand my ground. No one will ever back me into a corner, or force me to do anything, including forcing me to believe what they believe.
Success does not mean you’re a millionaire…it means that at the end of the day, you feel completely content and at peace. If you feel that way, you’re successful. Whether you have a mansion, or a tiny home, if you’re happy at the end of the day, you have succeeded. With a positive, growth mindset, you’re allowing yourself to find true contentment and success.
As someone whose bohemian and heavily connected to nature and animals, when I am having an overwhelming day I find myself drifting towards my plants, animals, or a moment spent somewhere beautiful (for example, the beach). This morning I took a moment to care for my plants and it helped with my anxiety. If you need a stress reliever, buy a plant (or two), grow a garden, or take a drive to a nature trail. Nature and the earth have true healing qualities. I wish each and everyone of my readers a peaceful, positive weekend. Remember, you are your own soldier. Protect yourself, defend yourself, and fight for what you love and need. Don’t allow another person, a bad situation, or a moment of weakness to affect your mindset.