How to Not Lose Yourself in Motherhood

Hi mamas! If you’re a mother, you already know that there’s a lot we talk openly about and a lot that we keep hidden from the world. Sometimes, society is not welcoming to open, honest thoughts. One topic that doesn’t get discussed nearly enough is how many women feel as though they lose themselves after they become moms. They feel less confident and less free. Carrying a child, giving birth, caring for another human being, and adjusting to a new chapter cause a lot of change and growth. Beyond the bodily changes, hormone changes, and the new routine, motherhood also replaces a life we once lived.

My children are my heart and soul. Greyson (five) and Waverly (one) have made me a better person and through motherhood, I’ve discovered who I am. I always wanted to be a mom, above anything else. I’ve also always wanted to remain true to who I am and to never lose my passions and my self-care.

You don’t have to lose yourself in motherhood. You can be just as confident and free as you were before becoming a mom. When you continue to pursue your passions, live your life, and care for yourself you’re a BETTER mom. I’m in my late twenties and I had my first (Greyson) in my early twenties. Your twenties are a time for growth, anxiety, and self-discovery. It’s a beautiful, but scary time. You are constantly evolving and learning. Some of the lessons you learn in your twenties are tough ones. I always say I grew up raising Greyson. Waverly, born a year ago, has a completely different version of me as a mom than Greyson did. That’s normal. Our children need to understand that we are always growing and becoming better versions of ourselves.

As a mom, you need to do things for yourself and without your kids. I am a very hands-on parent and it always gives me anxiety leaving my kids (for any amount of time), but I do it because I need to. It’s healthy to spend time alone (or with friends) as a mom. I get my nails done, I go out for drinks and dinner with my friends, I go to the movies, and I let my hair down whenever I can. It’s important to laugh and let go as a mom. Do your hair and makeup, wear a pretty outfit, and remind yourself of who you are.

You’re a mom…you’re not dead. You’re allowed to have fun and relax. I make time for self-care and my passions, which makes me feel fulfilled and at peace. When I have fun and take care of myself (yoga, working out, face masks, reading) I am the best version of myself. My kids deserve the best version of me and so do I. Even if it’s as simple as waking up before the rest of the household does, sitting in the quiet, and having your coffee alone, do it. Take a class, wander through a museum, or make a date with your friends. Remind yourself of who you are and what you love, mamas.

Motherhood is messy and beautiful. We aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes. Some days we will show up and other days we will fall short. That’s okay! Always be open with your kids and honest with yourself. Say yes to new experiences and never forget who you are.

Xo