How to Maintain a Sexy Relationship After Having a Baby
Mamas, if you have a strong, beautiful relationship, nothing will shake that. If you’re in the wrong relationship, having a baby will force you to realize what’s right for you and what isn’t. Sometimes, the truth stings. True relationships bring happiness and peace and withstand money issues, career changes, illness, and having a baby. Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual and each day is a different adventure, but there’s so much beauty in becoming a parent. Some days are more chaotic and challenging than others, but this isn’t the dress rehearsal…this is the show. A bad day isn’t the end, and I know how hard it can be to feel sexy after a long day.
How do I keep the sexiness and passion alive in my relationship? It’s simple…we appreciate each other. We say thank you, I love you, I want you, I miss you, and I appreciate you. We are the same as we were prior to becoming parents and having Greyson has only brought us closer. There are moments that test us and days that feel overwhelming, but that’s the universe’s way of keeping a balance. We’ve been through a lot together and regardless of what we endure as a couple, I will always have his back. Sex and passion create allure in the best movies, stir up emotions when listening to our favorite songs, and keep us turning the pages when reading a good book, but the key to having a sexy relationship is much deeper than sex. Sometimes, as women, we would much rather cuddle, make-out, go to a romantic dinner, and flirt than have sex. We love sex, but it isn’t everything to us!
Mamas, being sexy with your partner starts with feeling good about yourself (feeling sexy and happy). If you’re feeling off about yourself nothing your partner does or says will bring passion to your relationship. Treat yourself to a new, date night outfit and go out for a romantic dinner with your love. Drink some wine, flirt, and laugh…just like you did when you first met your lover. Let your hair down and have some fun, mamas. Or, simply get your nails done, take a trip to the hair salon, or get a massage. Go for a relaxing walk, or try a stimulating yoga routine. I have the Daily Yoga app, which I pay yearly for, and there are amazing routines that only take up thirty minutes of my day. It’s so important to remind yourself that you deserve to feel sexy and beautiful…
There will be days postpartum when you feel different, upset, or stressed (don’t fear them) and it takes a little while to feel 100%. There may be a piece of clothing that doesn’t fit exactly right and your mood will fluctuate, but you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. Every mama deals with something postpartum. Trust me, I have bad days just like everyone else. No one prepares a woman for what postpartum is really like and most women aren’t open about their struggles after becoming a mom, because they’re afraid of being judged or feeling weak. Mamas, there is strength in owning not only your good days, but your bad days, too. If you’re truly struggling with getting through each day, you’re feeling depressed, or alone, consider talking to a therapist weekly. Do whatever feels right for you and never apologize for taking care of your mind, body, and soul.
Start making a list of what you love and what will make you feel sexy and happy! Ensure that each week is filled with a little me time. Also, if you’re feeling different postpartum be honest with your partner and don’t push them away. Again, if you have a strong relationship they will not run away from the dark days. Your love will be there for you (no matter how crazy you feel in your own head) and it’s comforting knowing you have a support system. I wish every mama a gorgeous weekend and a sexy Valentines Day!
Greyson, you’re officially two months old today! Two months ago, on December 8 I was laying in the hospital next to this amazing boy, falling in love. I love seeing you smile and listening to you “talk”. I love spending each day with you and never feeling alone, because I have you by my side. As I wrote this entry I thought about all of the hearts I broke along the way and the many times I had my heart broken. My love, nothing breaks like a heart. My advice to you when you’re older is to wait…wait for the right person, wait for the love that ignites your soul and makes you feel incredible, and wait to worry about the big stuff. Have fun with your friends and fall in love with life and who you are way before falling in love with another person. As humans we don’t like being alone, but you need to remember that you’re never alone. Life is messy and scary. There’s so much I cannot shade you from (I wish I could), but I will always be here to listen and to help you. I will never judge you, leave you, or make you feel stupid. Trust me, daddy and I have been through so much and with each challenge we’ve grown and learned.
I’m so lucky this year to have TWO valentines. I have you and daddy, which makes me the luckiest woman in the world. Who needs Cupid when I have you? I love you baby boy.