Hi mamas! If you’re a mother, you already know that there’s a lot we talk openly about and a lot that we keep hidden from the world. Sometimes, society is not welcoming to open, honest thoughts. One topic that doesn’t get discussed nearly enough is how many women feel as though they lose themselves after they become moms. They feel less confident and less free. Carrying a child, giving birth, caring for another human being, and adjusting to a new chapter cause a lot of change and growth. Beyond the bodily changes, hormone changes, and the new routine, motherhood also replaces a life we once lived.
My children are my heart and soul. Greyson (five) and Waverly (one) have made me a better person and through motherhood, I’ve discovered who I am. I always wanted to be a mom, above anything else. I’ve also always wanted to remain true to who I am and to never lose my passions and my self-care.
You don’t have to lose yourself in motherhood. You can be just as confident and free as you were before becoming a mom. When you continue to pursue your passions, live your life, and care for yourself you’re a BETTER mom. I’m in my late twenties and I had my first (Greyson) in my early twenties. Your twenties are a time for growth, anxiety, and self-discovery. It’s a beautiful, but scary time. You are constantly evolving and learning. Some of the lessons you learn in your twenties are tough ones. I always say I grew up raising Greyson. Waverly, born a year ago, has a completely different version of me as a mom than Greyson did. That’s normal. Our children need to understand that we are always growing and becoming better versions of ourselves.
As a mom, you need to do things for yourself and without your kids. I am a very hands-on parent and it always gives me anxiety leaving my kids (for any amount of time), but I do it because I need to. It’s healthy to spend time alone (or with friends) as a mom. I get my nails done, I go out for drinks and dinner with my friends, I go to the movies, and I let my hair down whenever I can. It’s important to laugh and let go as a mom. Do your hair and makeup, wear a pretty outfit, and remind yourself of who you are.
You’re a mom…you’re not dead. You’re allowed to have fun and relax. I make time for self-care and my passions, which makes me feel fulfilled and at peace. When I have fun and take care of myself (yoga, working out, face masks, reading) I am the best version of myself. My kids deserve the best version of me and so do I. Even if it’s as simple as waking up before the rest of the household does, sitting in the quiet, and having your coffee alone, do it. Take a class, wander through a museum, or make a date with your friends. Remind yourself of who you are and what you love, mamas.
Motherhood is messy and beautiful. We aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes. Some days we will show up and other days we will fall short. That’s okay! Always be open with your kids and honest with yourself. Say yes to new experiences and never forget who you are.
Whether we want to change and grow or remain the same, trauma and experiences change us. I’m no stranger to growth and change. When I was sixteen and raped, I changed permanently. The girl I was before the sexual assault died. She disappeared in an instant. Becoming a mother changes you in beautiful, complicated ways, and I changed once I became a mother. Last year I went through another trauma that catapulted me into the next chapter of my life and changed me forever.
I believe that remaining still and never evolving will kill you. People are meant to learn hard, painful lessons and grow into a more beautiful version of themself. Just as a butterfly grows into that pretty form that we love, you will too. It may take some time and some patience, but who you’re meant to be is waiting for you. I can’t be the same girl I was at ten, or sixteen. I’ve loved, lived, and lost. I truly believe this is my year to fully bloom and become the best version of myself. It’s my year of metamorphosis.
The older I get the better I know myself, what I want, what I need, and what I can live without. There’s something so beautiful about knowing deeply who you are. Even on my worst days, I know who I am. Every week I chat with my amazing therapist (I highly recommend therapy to anyone who just needs to talk, who’s dealt with trauma, and who needs some help healing) and she knows me very well at this point. She pointed out to me today that I’ve changed, and with change comes a bit of rebellion from who you once were and what you once felt. You’ll be attracted to what challenges you and what’s different. I smiled and nodded. She put it so well. Yes, I’m rebelling from what I was in the past and who I thought I was supposed to be. I’ll look at photos of me from a few years ago and although I look the same on the exterior, my heart and mind are vastly different. My soul has evolved in ways that I’m very proud of.
Lately, I’ve been so susceptible to people’s energy and if you don’t give off the right energy, the kind of energy that makes me feel happy and at peace, I genuinely want nothing to do with you. It’s so important to protect your peace and to surround yourself with souls that make you feel like the best version of yourself. You want people around you that challenge you and make you see things in a different light. You want to question things, wander, and discover. You want to dig deep and sometimes, be uncomfortable. I’ve gotten out of my comfort zone in many ways in the past year and to be honest, it feels good to push myself. I promise, if you push yourself you won’t break.
From working out every day and drinking more water than anything else to reading at night instead of watching TV to adopting a spiritual routine, I’m so happy with this chapter of my life. Regardless of where the road I’m on leads, I know the views will be beautiful. I know that the pain I’ve endured has made me stronger and unbreakable. The moments of instability and chaos have made the peaceful moments that more sweet.
If you’re on a journey, keep going. Never back down from challenges and conflict. Remember that with change comes new views and a better understanding of yourself and the world around you.
Whether you’re renting, you own, or despite owning your home, it’s not your forever house, you should feel happy and content in your space. Your space should be a place where you’re the most you, where you let down your hair and laugh, and where you feel safe. It should be your sanctuary. There are simple ways to feel content in your home and to stop stressing over the little things.
Stop Comparing
Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Don’t look at your neighbor’s home, your friend’s home, or one on social media and compare it to your own. Remember, no one’s home is perfect. Every house has a flaw or several. Every person has a to-do list they’re stressing over and features in their home that they’re not in love with. You may see beautiful social media images, or a pretty front yard and assume the home is perfect, but no home is perfect. New homes have issues, old homes have issues, big homes have issues, and small homes have issues. Do yourself a favor and if you ever find yourself starting to compare your home to someone else’s, stop. Comparing leads to anxiety and unwanted insecurities.
Make a List of What you Love About Your Home
Whenever you’re feeling upset over an issue at home, or you’re feeling insecure about something your home may lack, take a moment to make a list of what you love about your space. Whether you love your outdoor area, you love your flooring, or the way light flows through a window, write it all down. There’s always something to appreciate and feel thankful for. If you were to move, what would you miss?
What do I love about my house? Well, I love our front porch and early mornings out there, breathing in the outdoor air. I love the history and original wood details in our home (our house is over 100 years old). I love our new flooring and the layout of our house, especially the fact that we have a formal living room and a playroom for the kids. I always wanted a playroom and a separate space for my kids to enjoy. Despite my list of what I adore about our home I still have days when I feel insecure, or I stress over the little things. It’s normal, but the more you do to be thankful and to feel content in your space, the less you’ll stress and obsess.
Water Your Own Grass
I always say I don’t worry about whose grass is greener because I water mine. The grass is greener where you water it. You have the power to water your grass and make it as green as you want. Water your lawn and take care of what you have. When you take care of something, it takes care of you. I love nature and gardening, but it can be a lot of work. I always remind myself on days that I have to water all of my plants, and weed, and take care of my yard that I’m giving back to something that gives me a lot of joy and peace.
Cleaning
It may sound far too simple, but keeping your home clean and organized makes such a huge difference. I have a cleaning routine that I always stick to and I never allow my home to become messy. Yes, we all have days when we don’t have as much energy as we’d like and we let the laundry pile up, or we don’t deep clean the bathrooms, but a regular cleaning schedule is so helpful. For example, I Swiffer and vacuum every morning. Sometimes, I even do it again before bedtime to set myself up for success the next morning. I water my plants every morning and blow off my front porch with my mini leaf blower so that I can sit out there every day and enjoy the space. I make sure there are no dishes left in the sink or the drying rack. I use Bona on our floors usually twice a week (and I don’t allow shoes to be worn inside). Cleaning can be therapeutic and can bring a lot of peace to your home. Removing clutter and unwanted items from your space can make a huge difference, as well.
Scent
Studies show that a smell can change your mood almost instantly. Have you ever smelled the rain, a pretty flower, or a candle and you were instantly calmed? If you invest in the way your home smells, it will make your house a place you want to be. I love candles and on any rainy, or cloudy day, I have a few lit. I also have wall plugins throughout my home and those scents change with the seasons. Right now, my wall plugins have a sea salt scent in them and it smells so airy and summery. Again, cleaning and keeping your home fresh will also make your home smell inviting.
I hope I can help you feel a little more at peace at home and to find ways to love your place. Your home is a little piece of your story, so you should make it feel like you.
I’ve always said that your vibe attracts your tribe. The energy you put out into the world brings certain people into your life. There’s nothing more important than surrounding yourself with the right people, the ones that make you a better version of yourself. Have you ever met someone and they just see you? They understand you, root for you, and inspire you. We don’t talk enough about how vital it is to have people around us that feel like daylight. They’re the people that can instantly pull you out of the darkness and remind you of who you are. The people that we want to talk to late at night, the ones that make us laugh and let our hair down, and the souls that we simply bond with are everything.
When you find your people, the ones that inspire you, challenge you at times and think you deserve the world, hold them close. Those are the people that are truly a part of your story. They’re the ones you need on your worst days and that you want to spend your best days with. Over the past year, my tribe has grown and I’m so thankful for my friends. I’d be less me without them. Some of my friends have been by my side for years and they’ve written so many chapters with me, from me becoming a mama to the painful moments. A couple of my friends came into my life recently, but they feel like old friends. True friendship is connecting without trying and accepting the person for everything they are and everything they’re not. I love it when a person inspires me and helps me to see things through a different lens, which we all need. We need to be driven to grow and evolve, or we will never move forward. We need people around us who push us out of our comfort zone. It’s important to embrace different viewpoints and to have an open mind.
I’m loyal and if you’re in my circle I will always have your back. I don’t compete with my friends, I cheer them on. I want my friends to have everything they want and for their dreams to become reality. Friendship is one of my core values and the older I get, the more friendship means to me.
Here’s to the beautiful friendships that get us through the hard days and that make the sunny days even brighter. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. Attract positive, uplifting, kind souls who will fiercely believe in you, always. Life is nothing without the people we love by our side.
Hi, loves. I think it’s important to understand why I have a blog and how it started. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been writing since I was five years old. I would sit in my room writing for hours on end, from stories to journal entries and it was always so healing to me. I’ve had my blog since 2014 (the year I graduated from high school). At first, my blog was password-protected and private. It was just a way for me to get through the drama, lies, and tears of my teenage years. Only one person at the time had my password and could read my posts, a very close friend of mine, someone who is no longer a part of my life. At the time, she was like a sister to me and we shared everything. I had been writing a story called Taking a Bite (a story based on my moments spent in New York City as a teenager), which is where the name for my blog Take a Bite out of me came from.
Very few people in my life at the time I started my public blog knew that when I was sixteen years old, I was raped. My therapist at the time had told me that my words had power and that I could reach and help other women through writing about what I had been through. At sixteen, I was too fragile and broken to openly discuss what I had endured. As I got older though, writing about my experiences became healing. In 2014, I redesigned my blog, made it public, and wrote my very first public post (there’s a brief excerpt from that original blog post below, which can still be found on my blog if you have the patience to scroll all the way back). This post was raw, uncomfortable for some to read, long, and incredibly hard to write. I received dozens of messages and emails from other women who had felt so alone until reading my post. I had classmates of mine reach out to me, apologizing for not knowing what I went through. It was a life-changing moment. I realized after publishing that post on my blog, that I would never hide away after pain, and that I would always try to help others feel less alone in their pain and trauma.
I still cannot believe it has been NINE years since my first blog post, and one of the hardest ones I’ve ever written. I didn’t start a blog to earn a living, to get likes on social media, or to get someone’s attention. I wrote because it helped me survive the toughest chapters of my life. My blog has been by my side through every chapter of my adult life and I’m truly grateful for my followers, readers, and the continued support I experience through my writing. I’ve grown and my life looks very different today, so I write fun, home-styling entries, and beautiful moments about motherhood (and messy ones), but I still write about the tough moments whenever I need to heal. The pain and the heartache never leave you, but you learn to re-read the dark chapters with a different outlook.
Before reading an excerpt from my first blog post below, it may be triggering to some. If it is, I’m sending you love, and just remember, there’s power in your words and you’re stronger than you know.
Published Nov 20. 2014
Light After Darkness
I could easily start off with a string of statistics; 44% of rape victims are under the age of 18, every 2 minutes an American is sexually assaulted, and my favorite, 97% of rapists will not spend a day in jail. I could start off with a string of statistics, yes, but when you become a part of a study, it’s extremely hard to base your feelings off of a bunch of numbers that can be found on Google, or in a glossy pamphlet at the Gynecologist’s office (I can’t stand them, by the way). When has a pamphlet ever made a person feel better? I became a part of known rape statistics, in June of 2012, when a guy in my life took full advantage of me, and left me with a laundry list of scary issues. I am now sharing my story and my battle with depression, with all of you. Have you ever woken up from a nightmare, and felt disoriented and scared? Well, that was my life for close to a year after being raped. Unlike a bad dream, I was unable to wake up and feel safe, because my bad dream was a very real nightmare. It happened on a balmy night, in June, of 2012. Within three hours of hanging out with a guy I thought I could trust, he raped me. I still remember where my thong had been tossed, after he violently ripped it off of me, along with my favorite summer shorts (I could never wear them again). I remember every detail of that night, as if it happened yesterday. I thought that night was going to consist of me watching reruns of Gossip Girl (my obsession in 2007) and drinking a beer; boy, had I been beyond wrong. He left me that night and I fell to the ground, and drowned in a puddle of tears; his abusive words replaying in my head, over and over again. I called my best friend at the time, and left her an incoherent voicemail, which she heard the next morning. I drank myself to sleep that night, and wished to sleep forever. I showered, and while standing in front of the mirror that hung in my room, naked, I found bruises and bite marks on my body. I was no longer comfortable in my own skin. You assume that after being hurt physically or emotionally, you will fight back. I wanted so bad to fight. Where had my strength gone? I knew that at some point I would have to fight, to regain my life, and my security, but all I could do was drink and cry. There was nothing I wanted more than to defeat my demons, but instead of fighting, I completely shut down. I felt a level of nausea that paralyzed my entire body. The Lizzie who had once existed, was gone. She never returned. I emerged from this trauma, forever altered.
I know I have been the absolute worst at posting on my blog over the past year, but it has been one of the hardest years of my life. I didn’t feel creative enough to type up anything worth reading, but I’m feeling so much happier and lighter. I’m back! Did you miss me?
I want to take a moment to thank all of my amazing readers and followers who have followed me for years, despite my habit of not posting during trying times. Also, hi, and welcome to my new readers and followers. Somehow, I’ve had new followers over the past year and it blows my mind considering how bad I have been at posting, and how boring I’ve been on here (I appreciate the support). I promise to keep posting and keeping it interesting! I am going to continue with my most popular and favorite blog series, The Greyson Diaries & Coming Home. I will also post more personal, journal entries often. If there’s anything you want to read more of, please let me know!
Wow…what a year. I said goodbye to toxicity in my life, we moved, I had a beautiful baby girl who is now fourteen months old, Greyson is now FIVE (the little boy who was the reason behind me starting The Greyson Diaries on my blog back in 2018), we bought a camper, I cried (a lot), I also screamed (sometimes we just have to), and I’ve met new people who now mean the world to me. It has been a year filled with growth, heartache, and transformation. Despite all of the tears and challenges of the past year, I am happier and healthier as a person, a mama, and a wife. I’m stronger and more resilient. I know who I am, what I want, and what I don’t want. I’m also incredibly thankful for my close friends who have turned into family. My friends are amazing and have been my strength on my weakest days.
I wake up early every morning, inhaling the peace and quiet. I feel so grateful that I get to drink my cup of coffee in my pretty mug, wander out onto my front porch, and breathe without toxic people suffocating and controlling me. A year ago, we moved to get away from toxicity (yes, a toxic person) who constantly made Andrew and I feel trapped and depressed. It was a hard, emotional decision to make, but at the end of the day always remember that your happiness and peace are more important than anything else. Walking away from people and places that don’t bring us joy is never easy or simple, but life’s too short and too uncertain to be even a little bit unhappy. Do I still look back? Of course, I do, but I don’t regret walking away.
I am living for myself again, smiling more, working out, writing, reading, and living a healthy life. When you distance yourself from negativity, you glow differently. It’s hard to see the chaos and darkness when you’re still in the trenches because you’re just surviving in those moments. Once you’ve walked away you can then look back and think, “Wow…I lived that every day and I survived. I got out.”. I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my life, but being betrayed and emotionally tortured by someone I never thought could do that to me, was by far the most painful experience I’ve ever been through. There’s no ignoring the fact that pain changes you. I am not the same woman I was a year ago, but I respect who I’ve become. To anyone going through pain and trauma, you’re not alone and there’s light ahead of you.
On a lighter note, I have been gardening and buying plants excessively over the past month. You know you’re an adult when the most exciting part of your week, is going to the garden center to spend way too much money. I’ve also been going on hikes and walks as the weather warms up. I highly recommend buying some new plants, going on a pretty hike, and just spending some time outside. It’s good for your health and your soul. I’ve also been falling in love with reading and writing again. It’s so therapeutic to just sit and read or write, especially to clear your head. I will be working on posting my book recommendations here, soon.
I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend and remember, all you need in life is a pretty plant and a cup of good coffee. It’s the little things.
I’m living the mommy life with two beautiful children and some days are more hectic than others. Sometimes, you just need a warm bath and a glass of Moscato at the end of the day. Regardless of the crazy days, being a mom is my absolute favorite part of my life. My four-year-old is the reason this blog series exists. Greyson inspired me to write about my adventures as a mom and to provide advice for other mamas (and dads). It’s lonely at times being a parent, especially as a stay-at-home mom. It’s always nice to know that you’re not alone and that we all have good and bad days. When I’m up late at night (or early in the morning) with my newborn and the entire world is silent, I like to think about all of the other moms who are up too, all over the world. You’re never alone, even if some days it feels as if you are. Life with a four-year-old and a newborn baby is beautiful, chaotic, and sleepless, but I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I am incredibly grateful that the universe chose me to be Greyson and Waverly’s mama.
If you scroll through social media you’ll see endless filtered posts/photos from moms claiming to live a perfect life with perfect children. That is not reality. Yes, we all capture beautiful moments, but not every moment is beautiful. Sometimes, you cry for a few minutes in the shower after your toddler screamed at you, you’re exhausted, you have endless errands to run (and not the fun Target/Starbucks errands), and you completely forgot to make something in the crockpot for dinner. It’s fun to look at pretty photos of perfect playrooms and beautiful babies in lace outfits, but it’s okay if your playroom is a mess and your baby just spit up on their new outfit. Take it easy mama and be kind to yourself. We all have good and bad days. We all have days when we can relax and roam the aisles at Target, but we also have days when we have back-to-back commitments and zero energy. Despite the crazy days, I do manage to live a peaceful, happy life, and keep a clean (and organized) home with my two children, who are both at home with me every day. I am homeschooling Greyson right now for Pre-K, which is an adventure.
I understand that we don’t all enjoy cleaning and organizing, but I love being a homemaker and creating beauty out of spaces. I choose to clean and accomplish household tasks instead of napping during the day. Sometimes, you need rest over anything else. But, it’s also less stressful to get your tasks done right away as opposed to letting the tasks pile up. We all have days when we let the laundry hang out in the dryer and the dishes sit in the sink and that’s okay. You’re allowed to take your time and take a moment. I do want all mamas to feel motivated and accomplished, though. You can do whatever you put your mind to and if you want a clean, organized home, it’s up to you to make that happen. I recommend getting all of your tasks done early in the morning if you’re like me and you enjoy waking up early. Or, stay up a little later some nights and tackle your to-do list. It feels so nice to know that by eight o’clock in the morning, my home is in order. I also love falling asleep in a home that’s calm and neat. I try to never leave a mess anywhere before I go to bed. The more you accomplish early on in the day though, the less you’ll have to worry about later on, which allows you to nap, eat, cook, play with your children, and enjoy a hobby (or two) throughout the day. It’s also okay to put yourself first, which mamas constantly need to be reminded of. There are days I forget to eat because I am so busy taking care of my babies, but that’s not healthy. We need to also eat, take a hot bath, get changed, and relax, just like our children. It’s also allowed and okay to have slow, lazy days, where we roll out of bed later, light some candles, cuddle in bed with our kids, watch Netflix, and forget about our daily routine for a bit. Being a mother (and a parent) is exhausting and we deserve a break from the normal hustle.
As a mom, you feel guilty if your kid isn’t dressed and ready by eight am, if you let your kid sleep in your bed, or if you give in and buy your kid yet another toy from Target that they begged you for. Mamas, don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel bad. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain yourself. You’re the mom and you’re allowed to do whatever works best for you and your family, even if it doesn’t work for others, or doesn’t make sense to others. Moms are judged if their child isn’t potty trained early on, but there’s no way to force your child to be ready for the potty. Moms are judged if their child throws a tantrum, but emotions are normal. Greyson is four. Four-year-olds are what I call fournadoes (tornadoes). They’re independent, strong-willed, and stubborn. They have huge personalities packed into tiny bodies and sometimes they can be bratty, challenging, and over the top. Greyson can be insanely sweet to me one minute, and then, he’s yelling at me and not listening. Sound familiar? Four-year-olds love the word “no”. They also like to make their own choices, which is valid, but as a parent, it’s a constant struggle to get your child to do what you want them to do. My advice to the mamas who are dealing with a defiant four-year-old, let a lot of it go and give them a minute. When Greyson isn’t listening or he’s being difficult, no matter how hard it is to just let go, I let him be alone for a little while and I walk away. Then, I come back to him after he’s had some time to calm down and move forward. He usually comes back to me before I come back to him, completely fine and ready to listen. Also, little kids NEED naps and breaks. If Greyson is in one of his moods, he’s usually tired and is in need of a nap. Little kids can get overstimulated just like we do, which is why walking away from the potential argument and just letting them be alone for a moment is always healthy. Have you ever argued with a four-year-old? It’s a losing game. Listen, we all lose our cool from time to time. We all yell, curse, cry, and then feel awful for how we acted. Sometimes, I sit down at the end of the day and feel so proud and accomplished as a mama and a wife. On other days I feel overwhelmed and disappointed in how I handled certain situations. I know I’m not perfect, but I also know that I’m an amazing mom. Greyson tells me at least once a day that I’m the best mom in the world, even if I had to yell at him for something, which shows that he understands his behavior and appreciates the fact that I parent him, even when it’s not easy. Kids need rules, structure, and discipline. They also need understanding, patience, and endless love. We never go to bed angry in our house. It’s a rule we live by. We always go to bed feeling loved, grateful, and calm, regardless of how stressful the day was.
Waverly will be two months old on April 2nd and she’s an absolute angel. She’s a beautiful, bright-eyed baby. My life right now revolves around her feedings (every three hours) and I don’t think I’ve slept more than three hours since before she was born, but she’s worth the sleepless nights and busy days. The universe knew I needed a baby girl and I live for dressing her up, shopping for pretty outfits, and watching Greyson be an amazing big brother to his little sister. He loves her so much which melts my heart. She has a truly special connection with me and she looks at me like I’m her entire world, which is so incredible. When she was born I was reminded of the fact that we as adults are honestly so similar to babies and toddlers. We need a snack, a nap, and attention, or we get upset and cranky. Babies and toddlers express themselves through tears and cries. As adults, we hold in our emotions until we explode. If we only took a page from the baby/toddler manual and just let it out we’d feel less anxious and stressed. It’s healthy to cry, vent, and yell mamas. It’s okay to have honest, open emotions. Sometimes, I’m a brat and I accept that. We can learn so much from our children and they’re constantly teaching me important lessons. I may get upset when Greyson has a tantrum and at the worst possible times, but they get overstimulated and tired just like we do. It’s natural for little kids to explode from time to time. We overload them with information (ABCs, numbers, manners, household tasks, rules, extracurricular activities, and daily schedules). It’s not surprising that they lose it sometimes. I lose it sometimes, too. We all do.
Take a breath, mamas. Take a moment. Remember how amazing and strong you are, even on your worst days. The hard days give us the best lessons about life and ourselves. Make time for your hobbies, passions, and favorite things every day. You’re never alone in this beautiful, crazy chapter.
Older homes have an alluring charm and have become increasingly more popular to buy, rent, and flip thanks to shows such as Fixer Upper. Who doesn’t love scrolling through pretty images on Pinterest of old farmhouses, showcasing rustic elements with modern touches? There’s something quite beautiful about a home with a story and older homes have many stories to tell. I appreciate nicks, scratches, and imperfections. I love a home that has survived many seasons and is continuing to create new memories. I just moved from an apartment that my husband and I designed ourselves. It was a space with new flooring, new appliances, fresh coats of paint, and newly completed projects. We just moved into a 121 year old Victorian home with flooring that’s about 35/40 years old, many original details from 121 years ago (such as stained glass windows in the front formal living room and a wide, grand staircase with the original wood). Victorian homes were dark, with dark wood and dark color patterns for the furniture, curtains, and decor. We fell in love with this old house, but decorating an older home differs greatly from decorating a newer/new home. Luckily, our style is farmhouse chic, which pairs perfectly with an older home. Farmhouse chic embraces imperfections and adds a level of coziness and lightness to a rustic lifestyle.
When I was decorating and shopping for our home, I chose a lot of whites, earth tones, and lighter woods to fill the rooms. Older homes always benefit from white (and other light colors) to create an airy feel. For our formal living room, pictured above I chose a mixture of white, black, and a light barn wood color for the rug and furniture. I adore this room and the entryway, which features a small console table (black and barn wood in color), decor pieces, a full-length gold antique mirror, and a faux olive tree (bought from Target). Our entryway and front formal living room are what you first see when you come downstairs in the morning, and when someone enters the house, which makes this space the opening statement. I love that an older home can be filled with newer pieces and older pieces that work in harmony. I love antique shopping and have filled my home with antique decor, such as the carousel horse that’s displayed on our entryway console table. When you’re decorating an older home, you don’t want to neglect the fact that it’s old. You need to embrace the old and bring in older pieces (antiques, thrift store finds, and retro items). If you cannot afford antique furniture (some of it is pricey), aim for smaller, antique pieces such as picture frames, old books, tabletop decor, and vases. You can also frame antique letters, photos, and vintage records to add a level of personality to the space. Of course, you can also purchase new decor and furniture that has an antique, or rustic look to them, such as all of my new farmhouse furniture and decor. I bought our furniture at Ashley Furniture, Raymour & Flanigan, and on Amazon. My decor is from all over the place, but my favorite decor shopping spots are Hobby Lobby, Marshalls, Amazon, and Michaels.
It’s important to remember that when you’re styling an older home that it’s old. I know that sounds silly, but you don’t want to pretend that it’s a brand new home, because it’s not. You want to embrace the home’s years, the scratches, the creaks, and the fading. We constantly see photos on Pinterest, Instagram, and moments on HGTV with brand new floors, all white cabinets and vast marble countertops, and gold hardware everywhere, and we feel as if our home isn’t beautiful if it doesn’t look exactly like that. Well, that’s simply untrue. There are many different types of homes and types of styles. Any home can be beautiful, as long as it’s styled with care and attention (and it’s clean and organized). It’s time to celebrate normal homes, homes that are lived-in and cozy, and homes with character. Our home has so much character. If walls could talk these walls would tell of a space that was once home to a doctor’s office (and then a beauty salon) in the 1940s/1950s, a few families with many kids that ran through the halls, and a man who bought the house in the 1970s for his daughter. Our space is a chic lived-in house, which means that it’s a comfortable, natural space, with pretty touches. Its homey and has a personality. When people enter my home they always compliment the decorating and the decor I’ve chosen, but beyond that they can see me and my family everywhere they look. You want your home (old or new) to represent who you are as a person (and a family). Your home should tell your story, just as you tell the home’s story through decorating. Old homes provide you with endless inspiration and I am happy to share a bit of our old home with all of you.
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It has been a very emotional, trying, yet beautiful month. We had to move unexpectedly during my 38th week of pregnancy, unpack an entire home in two days, I was induced at 39 weeks, spent three days in the hospital, and then came home to a space that was still new to me with a newborn and my four-year-old. We had to move to get away from toxicity caused by a family member and it was the best decision we ever made, despite how hard it was. I’m still tired and trying to feel “normal” again in my postpartum chapter. It has been emotionally and physically exhausting, to say the least. I’m so thankful for my two beautiful children and my husband who remind me constantly of my strength. I’m also very lucky to have friends who have turned into family. At the end of the day though, dealing with postpartum after the month I’ve had has been difficult. Each day gets easier but I don’t think I’ve ever endured more in such a short period of time. I know one day I’ll look back and be amazed at my ability to move forward and my inner strength.
2023 didn’t begin the way I thought it would. I envisioned myself relaxing with a good book, cuddled up on the couch, with a favorite candle lit, awaiting the arrival of our daughter Waverly. Instead of relaxation, I was handed the exact opposite. I said goodbye to so much in a matter of days and said hello to a completely new chapter overnight. When I was leaving for the hospital to be induced it felt as though I was completely numb. My body was so sore from packing and then unpacking. I was very pregnant and my feet throbbed. When I got home from the hospital though, with our beautiful baby girl, my eyes flooded with tears. I was no longer numb. I was feeling every emotion my body had been trying so desperately to block out for the past couple of weeks. Everything I had just endured hit me like a tornado. I spent every night for a week after returning from the hospital crying until finally, I had let all of my emotions out. I felt relieved and lighter, but I also felt overwhelmed. When you’re dealing with so much at once, especially as a mama, you’re too busy surviving to break down. Once survival mode ended I was able to be raw and honest.
Now, I can honestly say that I survived a very stressful and emotional month. I have truly grown as a person. I am no longer looking in the rearview mirror and I’m embracing our new chapter with clear eyes and a grateful heart. I am a firm believer in the power of the universe and that everything happens for a reason. Trying moments are placed in our path, but there’s always beauty at the end of the road. I have time to enjoy the little things again that make me really happy…sitting on the front porch early in the morning, writing, enjoying a good book, and yoga. To all of the mamas going through a hard time, just remember that there’s happiness and laughter just around the corner. Embrace every moment, even the ones that scare you, because they’re all a part of your story. Be proud of your story, every page.
Hi! I am sorry for my long absence from my blog. I’ve been so busy and I also haven’t felt inspired to write about anything lately. Sometimes, I’d much rather read or pursue one of my other hobbies and passions instead of typing on my laptop. But, with that being said there’s so much to catch my readers up on and I felt compelled today to check-in. I hope all of my loyal, amazing readers are doing well and staying healthy. It is, of course, my favorite time of the year! With Thanksgiving in a few days and Christmas just around the corner I am in full holiday mode (I finished decorating for Christmas a couple of weeks ago, as per usual). Despite any stresses or bad days, take a moment today to write down what you’re thankful for. We all have something to feel thankful for.
It has been a year…to say the least. Our exterior home improvement company is thriving and we are staying busy running the company together (my husband Andrew and I). Running a business is 24/7 and it takes up so much of your time, energy, and attention. We are constantly thinking of marketing, upcoming jobs, finances, etc., but owning and operating a successful business is incredibly rewarding. You feel amazing after each five-star review, finishing the jobs, and crushing the goals you set. Greyson, our three-year-old is turning four in December, which is exciting, yet mind-blowing. I am also pregnant with a baby girl and am due in February! It has been a rougher pregnancy than my first, which was such an easy pregnancy. I’ve had issues breathing, I am constantly nauseous, and I am just completely drained. Greyson is being homeschooled for preschool at the moment and some days it is a challenge, but I know he’s learning and absorbing so much of our lessons. I just wish I had my old, pre-pregnancy energy level back, which would be helpful as a busy mom. I will be writing a Greyson Diaries this weekend and talking about life with an almost four-year-old because there’s so much to discuss! I know I am not alone in the never-ending adventures (and tears) of life with a three-five-year-old child, which is an age group unlike any other, which is why I’m looking forward to this week’s Greyson Diaries so much. As for my baby girl and I, despite feeling uncomfortable daily (which I know is what it is), we are doing well and I’m so excited to meet her in February. I’m also really excited for Greyson to have a sibling and for him to become a big brother, which I feel will be a life-changing event for him (in a positive way).
There have been a lot of rough days this past year for Andrew and me, from family issues and painful drama caused by others to my pregnancy emotions and minor health issues, but together we’ve built a really beautiful life and I’m thankful to have him by my side (through the rain and shine). Trying times and long days are a reminder of how important having the right person beside you is. Choose the right person to spend the rest of your days with because you’ll need not only a lover but a best friend to get you through the cloudy days. The rough days this year were even rougher for me because I suffer from anxiety and at times my anxiety can be crippling. Sometimes, I need to distance myself from people and experiences that bring me stress and discomfort for my mental health. I have learned this year that my mental health and feeling comfortable are more important than anything else. If it bothers someone else that I am protecting my mental health and my emotions, that is their problem and I don’t care. I will continue to do what’s best for myself and my little family. Never allow someone to steal away your comfort, happiness, or your peace of mind. Do what feels best for you and walk away from whoever (or whatever) makes you unhappy. Yes, sometimes that includes walking away from family members and friends.
The colder weather is finally arriving here in New Jersey, which makes me so happy. I am not a hot weather person and this summer was in the upper 90s every single day, which was awful. I love the beach and I do miss my days spent in Long Beach Island, running in and out of the waves, but I am ready for snow! I decorated for Christmas and winter on my birthday (November 4), which is my tradition. My birthday is always the beginning of the holiday season for me. I love the glow from my fireplace and the glistening of my Christmas tree. Nothing makes me happier than walking around a store that’s fully decorated for Christmas and enjoying winter outings (Christmas villages, tree lightings, and restaurants during the holidays). I was raised Jewish and Catholic and I still celebrate Jewish and Catholic holidays, although I am not a religious person. I will be lighting a menorah, of course for Hanukkah and I do say the Hanukkah blessing in Hebrew as I light the candles. I’m a spiritual person, but I respect both Judaism and Catholicism very much, and I love tradition. Holidays to me are about tradition and I love celebrating each year, especially now that I’m a wife and mom. I get to share my love for the holidays and traditions with my husband and children. My two favorite holidays are Christmas and Easter. I love Christmas because of the colder weather, the beautiful tree, and the magic of Santa. I love Easter because it’s the beginning of spring, with beautiful flowers and spring decorations, and I enjoy cooking an Easter meal. Easter will always be the meal that I want to host and that I enjoy cooking for the most. Holidays are a beautiful aspect of the calendar and they’re a great way to reconnect with your creativity and the people that mean the most to you.
I turned twenty-seven this year and I have so much to be thankful for. Age to me is simply a number and youth is something that lives within you. I’m someone who is still a child at heart and I believe in magic. I believe in the magic of the holiday season, the magic of getting lost in nature, and the magic of being a parent (even on trying days). I am at a point in my life where I don’t care about social media or likes on a photo I upload, I don’t care about selfies, I don’t care about the opinion of others, and I don’t care about unnecessary drama. I live for the simple moments, like a cold afternoon, with a candle lit and a good book in my hands.
I’m excited for the upcoming Greyson Diaries, a new Boho Chickie, chatting more about my pregnancy and advice for moms expecting baby number two, and of course, my yearly Christmas/winter interior decorating post (Coming Home)! I am going to make an effort to continue posting and writing on my blog every month, which I know is therapeutic for me, and my readers appreciate it, but if I ever disappear again, just know that I’ll always be back. Life is crazy, complicated, and beautiful…and I’m here to talk about it all. Have a beautiful and healthy Thanksgiving, loves. I am sure you will hear from me before then.
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