The Greyson Diaries

December 24, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Strength and Sleepless Nights

Being a mother is finding fire and strength in yourself each day and battling fears you never thought you’d face. Before you become a mom your fears are immensely different and they only involve you. You worry about your own, personal finances, needs, wants, choices, insecurities, and mistakes. Once you start worrying about another life, things change. It’s one remarkable way to become selfless. You worry about issues that don’t exist, tiny struggles, distant thoughts, and unknown factors. You simply worry, because from the second you give birth and become a mom your only priority is to protect and love. I would kill someone for Greyson and for Andrew. They’ve both taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and I love them with every part of me. As a mama and a fiancé (soon to be wife), I view my role as a pretty, strong bookend. A bookend holds everything on the shelf together and that’s what I do and always wish to do. I want to be the one to take away the pain, piece things back together, and make everything easier.

I’m living and loving the mommy life and I’m so happy to be where I am, especially with Andrew by my side. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner ♥️ I’m always asked how I’m feeling and for those who know me they know I never stop. I’m constantly moving and now that I’m a mama, the movement continues, but at an insane rate. There are only more things for me to worry about, accomplish, and of course, enjoy with my son. Despite my motivation and positive attitude, don’t get it twisted…I’m tired. I do have to say though, each day gets easier. You simply embrace the exhaustion and move forward and at some point, you’re no longer tired. I mentioned in my first entry of The Greyson Diaries that I pulled many, drunken all-nighters and that I can handle anything. Yes, that is very true. This mama has lived. I’ve spent nights roaming around New York City until five am, drunk off of five martinis, and wearing eight-inch heels, but nothing compares to being a mama and taking care of a baby. By the way, any mom who says they aren’t tired is probably delusional from being tired. It’s an exhausting and incredibly rewarding job and the job doesn’t end when the sun sets. The job keeps going and you keep going.

For those currently dealing with sleepless nights I know it can be a lonely feeling, being awake at two am with a crying baby, even when your significant other is asleep in the other room. You may be without a significant other and in that case, you might really feel alone. You’re never alone though, my loves. I always say, if you’re feeling alone there are countless other people feeling the exact same way; if you and others are dealing with identical emotions you’re in the same place, whether you’re strangers or thousands of miles apart…you’re never alone.

Greyson is my little best friend, but it still feels lonely at times when I know everyone else in my life is fast asleep and I’m awake, watching whatever happens to be on tv, trying to soothe my angel and put him to bed. It’s important to cherish every moment, even the tiring, late nights. Luckily, as a writer, I’m used to staying up all night writing and thinking. Have a glass of wine, mamas and take a deep breath. As I write this entry Greyson is cuddled on my lap and it’s a little after midnight. Andrew is sleeping and I’ve been watching old, Christmas movies. If you’re up late and feeling a little lonely (and tired) put on a favorite movie (maybe a favorite Holiday film), or binge watch a tv show to entertain yourself. I don’t mind the sleepless nights because I know they won’t last forever, but Greyson will never be this little again. There will come a day when he will no longer cuddle and fall asleep on my chest, but regardless of what life stage Greyson’s in, he’ll always be my baby boy.

Many moms, like myself, are stay at home moms (at least for a time) and there are moments when our men truly don’t understand how much of a commitment it is. We wake up, after possibly only a few hours of sleep and we live for our kid(s). I’ve taken on my mama duties and the role as a housewife and it’s exhausting (I love it though). Some may think stay at home moms have it easy because they’re home, but it’s not an easy job. We are enveloped by a world that is wildly misunderstood…it isn’t an episode of Desperate Housewives. There’s no one stronger than a devoted parent, especially a mother. To all of the stay at home moms (and dads), you’re amazing. We’re amazing and we have the best job in the world.

Being a mother is finding strength regardless of how tired you are. If you keep that fire lit inside of you and remain positive (and healthy), you’ll get through anything and everything. As the bookend, I’ll remain strong and fierce for my family, always. Loving and caring for my boy and my man is my job and it’s a job without financial gain or promotions. It is a job with an incredible reward though and every morning I wake up feeling proud. Remember, it’s about the little things. As a mama, I truly appreciate the simple moments and the tiny victories. Greyson actually slept through the night for the first time this week and he’s only two weeks old, which makes me a very proud and happy mama.

Greyson’s Letter

Greyson,

You’re the one who made me a mom and I cannot thank you enough for changing my life. I may have another baby someday, but as my first born you hold a special place in my heart. You changed my world the second I found out I was pregnant. I can still feel you kicking me and sometimes I forget that I no longer have my baby bump. I brought you into this world and there is no greater feeling (I wish I could fully explain the feeling). You made me realize just how strong I am and I will never doubt myself or my strength, because of you. You’re my greatest accomplishment and daddy and I are truly amazed by you and your bright personality. I’m glad I had you at a young age and I’m so excited for our future adventures and for you to fall in love with life, just like I did. One day though, I will be older and I know that when I look back at my life story you’ll be one of the most beautiful chapters. I love you sweetheart.

Stay tuned for the next entry of The Greyson Diaries 💙 & follow me on Instagram @lizziemognoni

The Greyson Diaries

December 17, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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On December 8, 2018, my life was altered permanently by a gorgeous baby boy…

Greyson Bryce Killough was born on Saturday, December 8, making me the luckiest mama in the world. It was the most incredible experience of my life and I still cannot believe Andrew and I created this perfect, little person. As soon as Greyson was placed on my chest I fell completely, madly in love. He looked into my eyes and held my finger with his tiny hand; after carrying him for nine months, we already knew one another so well. My voice was a familiar, safe song and he still looks into my eyes with that same, loving expression that stole my heart when our eyes met for the first time. Nothing compares to meeting your baby after a long, beautiful pregnancy and being able to put a face to the one who playfully kicked you.

Welcome to the first entry of The Greyson Diaries, which of course, is dedicated to the light of my life…my son, Greyson. It will be a series filled with honesty, happiness, and love. Xo

I had an amazing pregnancy and I truly enjoyed every moment of it, but as soon as I began having contractions I was ready for my pregnancy to end and for a new adventure to begin. Before I went into labor I watched A Christmas Story and cuddled on the couch with Andrew, wondering when our boy would make his appearance. I fell asleep tangled up with my fiancé, but I woke up suddenly feeling uncomfortable. It was a little after midnight on December 8 when I began to feel minor contractions. I got ready and waited for the contractions to be a steady five minutes apart. I woke up Andrew and told him our little boy was coming! I was a little nervous but mostly excited. I told my mom to be ready and we waited…

We were at the hospital by five am and I was admitted. Since I wasn’t yet in active labor but was full term (officially 40 weeks pregnant) my OB had me induced. Within a couple of hours, I was four centimeters dilated and very soon after I was seven. It went by so fast! Danny (my man of honor by the way) arrived and hung out with my mom and me for a few hours and we talked, laughed, and watched Netflix. Before I knew it I was ready to start pushing. My mom, Danny, and of course, my fiancé, Andrew stood by me through the delivery and I couldn’t be more thankful for the special people that surround me (and baby Greyson). I was so scared before giving birth, but once I felt ready to push…fear faded away. It’s the scariest experience in the world (and insanely exciting) and I’ve never felt more accomplished or proud. Yes, mamas, it’s warranted to feel beyond proud of yourself. Despite the sleepless nights and the constant worry, motherhood is worth it. Yes, your life changes, but it changes in a beautiful way. If you want to have a baby but you’re fearful of the unknown, don’t be. If you’re a new mama and stressing, take a deep breath. You can do this! I’m loving every minute of it (even if it’s two am and he’s crying his little heart out). It’s natural to be afraid, but I can promise you that baby will change your life and your mindset.

I feel almost completely normal again, besides a little soreness and of course, I’m tired. I had an easy pregnancy and my delivery was incredibly quick. I pushed for about fifteen minutes and then Greyson arrived. I remind all of the mamas to be to enjoy each stage of their pregnancy, but motherhood is irreplaceable and you have so much to look forward to. I was me throughout my pregnancy, wearing what I always wore, getting dolled up, working, going out, writing, spending time with the ones I love, and always making time for myself. You can still be you and enjoy your moments once you have a baby and it isn’t true that your life is over once you have a child. I don’t understand women who give up once they have a baby. You don’t have to give up who you are, what you want, or forget your passions once you become a mom. You don’t have to drive a minivan (unless you want to), or stop buying the clothes you love. You don’t have to give up on your dreams or change your attitude. Parenthood is a different chapter, which requires some adjusting. I still find time to clean, write, take care of myself, and spend time with the special people in my life. It simply becomes a balancing act and you need to remind yourself to breathe.

Greyson and Andrew are my entire world and I’m in awe of our little, perfect family. I love watching Andrew with our son; I’ve loved Andrew with every bit of me ever since he first kissed me, but seeing him as a daddy has reminded me of why I chose him. Ladies, remember to appreciate your significant other and show them some love once you’re home from the hospital. You’ll both be tired and finding a balance to your new, exciting life and it’s important to take a moment to acknowledge one another. Yes, the woman delivers the baby but the man is just as much a part of the experience as the woman. A true man will be there through the cries, smiles, and sleepless nights. He will be his woman’s strength when she feels tired and needs a little love.

Andrew is amazing at making me feel the absolute best and I love him for that (and so much more). Also, if you’re having a child through a surrogate or you’re adopting, this still applies to you! Your partner deserves a hug and a kiss for being there beside you through becoming a mom, because it takes a special person to be not only a partner but a parent, too. If you’re single and going at motherhood alone, you’re about to discover how immensely strong you are. As women, we are capable of anything. I’ve never felt stronger or fiercer in my life. I brought a beautiful, baby boy into this world and I’m his everything…just as he’s mine. Also, I’m not forgetting about the single dads out there! I focus a lot on the mamas, because I’m currently living the mommy life, but if you’re a single daddy this blog series is for you, too.

I’ve been asked countless questions since I came home from the hospital and I’ve picked the best to answer to provide a little insight for other mamas and mamas to be.

Am I tired? Yes, of course, I am. But, it’s already getting easier and it’s only been a week. Don’t fear the sleepless nights. Hey, I pulled drunken all-nighters as a teenager…I can handle anything.

How does my body feel and do I feel different? No, I don’t feel different. My body is going back to normal. If you’re healthy and happy your body will go right back to how it was. It’s crazy how fast you can bounce back! It’s normal to feel a little off for a couple of weeks after giving birth, but don’t stress yourself out. Allow yourself time to heal and recover. Every woman is different, but you will heal just fine. I didn’t require much attention after giving birth, but of course I dealt with discomfort! Everyone handles postpartum differently, but I recommend taking it easy. Even if you feel great please don’t rush yourself. You shouldn’t be working out, dieting, or running around like a lunatic.

Why didn’t I breastfeed? If you want to breastfeed or you did breastfeed I respect your decision, but I wanted Greyson to bond with not only myself but also Andrew (and our loved ones) during feeding time without any issues. Yes, you can pump and provide a bottle for others who wish to feed your baby, but there are times a breastfed baby doesn’t want to be fed by others (only mom). Honestly, I just didn’t want to breastfeed. There are reasons why I’ve loved bottle feeding, but my decision to do so isn’t that deep. If you don’t want to breastfeed, don’t. Greyson is super healthy and happy without drinking my breast milk.

Did I feel comfortable with Andrew watching me give birth? Did I feel awkward? Andrew, Danny, and my mom were so excited to meet Greyson that they didn’t even think anything of it. I was focused on delivering my son and getting through labor. I also had an insanely fast and easy delivery. My mom and midwife, Laura were down there, watching Greyson come out and helping/encouraging me to push. Danny and Andrew were by my head, talking to me and holding my hand. At one point Danny was squeezing my hand and Andrew was holding my leg up. Andrew was amazing and proud of me. If you’re with the right person they’ll be right beside you during labor and your insecurities will fade away. Women are so strong and amazing and giving birth is truly the most inspiring experience.

Is my relationship different? Having Greyson has only brought Andrew and me closer. We’re the same with each other, though. He’s so sweet and playful with me, always. I’m the mother of his child and that has connected us in a beautiful, permanent way.

What hurt more…the epidural or the contractions? The pain/sensation from the epidural was nothing like the painful contractions. They cannot be compared because they’re completely different feelings. I cried during the epidural and it is definitely the weirdest feeling, but I needed it. My contractions became too much for me to handle. I grew up with a stomach ulcer and I don’t handle cramps/stomach pain well. The epidural kept me comfortable until it was time to push and then I felt an intense pressure (the urge to push).

What’s the scariest part about becoming a mom? The scariest part about being a mama is worrying. I will forever worry about Greyson and he’s my full-time job 💙

Would I go through childbirth again? Yes, I will definitely be waiting a few years (at least), but I will have another baby someday.

Was it hard to know what to do in order to care for my baby? It comes naturally, ladies! You will know what to do and when you don’t you confide in the pediatrician you choose, other mothers, and you can always read up on newborn information. Remember though, no one knows your child better than you do. Trust yourself. Also, once your baby is born the nurses in the hospital will ensure you’re feeding your baby properly and doing what is best (bathing, routines, newborn care, the crying stages, pediatrician care/shots, etc.).

Did I deal with any level of depression during or after my pregnancy? No, I’ve honestly never been happier and I was really happy throughout my pregnancy! But, I’ve known women who’ve dealt with postpartum depression and it is important to know where to turn. The hospital will have resources for mothers dealing with postpartum depression and for anyone who is dealing with it, don’t feel uncomfortable seeking therapy and help. It’s important to care for yourself as much as your baby because that baby depends on you. Your little angel wants and needs you to be happy and healthy.

Greyson, I love you more than I could ever explain and I will always be here for you. Daddy and I will never leave you, judge you, or drift away from you. No matter how old you are you will always be my baby and my best friend, but I promise to let you make your own choices and follow your heart. I cannot wait for all of our family adventures, moments, and memories. You’re the light of my life and I’ll never let go. You’ve made me an even better version of myself and have reminded me of what’s truly important in life…love, family, and happiness. These blog entries will be our time capsule and one day you’ll read them.

I wish all mama bears (and anyone raising a child) a lifetime of happiness and laughter. I already know that it’s the greatest adventure and it’s so important to cherish each moment. Smile through the tears and make the most of each day. I’ll be here for support, inspiration, and motivation ✨

Stay tuned for the next entry of The Greyson Diaries 💙 & follow me on Instagram @lizziemognoni

A Letter to My Baby

November 19, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Any woman who has carried a child (or multiple children) for nine months knows that you truly become a mom the second the strip reads positive, but the moment you give birth to your baby, “mom” becomes such an honored title and a full-time job. Your life changes forever and all at once. I am 37 weeks pregnant (9 months) and will soon be in the hospital, feeling every emotion possible (I’m so scared and excited), ready to meet my baby. This letter is to you, my little pumpkin…

Dear Greyson,

I am so excited to meet you and to start this new chapter in my life, alongside your daddy. When you’re born I will hold you close and you’ll look up at me, but you’ll also look up at another, very important face. You’ll look up at your daddy, who is already so in love with you. I want you to know that you have the greatest daddy in the entire world and he treats me like a queen. He will always love you and be there for you; when you’re older and going through the painful process of growing up, always remember how lucky you are to have a father like him. You will learn so much from him and despite the moments you two disagree and fight (yes, that’ll happen), you two will share an unbreakable bond. I wake up every morning feeling so lucky and thankful for your daddy and for you.  

This world can be terrifying, unstable, and confusing, but as long as you’re with your daddy and me, I promise to make you feel safe and loved. I will protect you every single day with every bit of me, but it breaks my heart to know that there are things I cannot protect you from. My parents weren’t able to protect me from everything, but I grew up strong and resilient, and so will you. I know you’ll be strong enough to overcome anything life throws at you (just like your daddy) and I will always be here to listen, help, and support you. There will come a day when you will question yourself and the world around you, but don’t be afraid. It’s called growing up, my angel. Don’t grow up too fast or be in too much of a hurry to leave home, because home is everything. Home is wherever daddy and I are. Daddy and I will never rush you or force you to make challenging decisions…trust me, we’ve been there. Take your time, take a moment, and take in the beauty around you. As I said, life can be scary, but it can also be unbelievably beautiful. The beautiful, breathtaking moments are what we live for. Never fear the mountains ahead or the winding roads, because the scenic routes allow us to experience the best views. 

I became your mom the second I found out I was pregnant and I am honored, thankful, and blessed to be your momma (your glam mama). I’m sitting here right now, feeling you move and kick and I will never forget my pregnancy with you. I will always be your biggest supporter, best friend, and partner in crime. Yes, I will also always be your mother, which means at times I will need to yell, teach, and ask questions, but I will never stop loving you. There’s nothing you could ever say or do to make me let go and I’ll never judge you. You’re part of me and part of daddy, which is one of the most incredible aspects to becoming a parent. Despite the fact that you have so much of us in you, you’re completely your own, amazing person. You will make your own mistakes and choices and you’ll write your own story. 

We’re going to go on adventures together and make so many memories. Time goes by way too fast and I will cherish every second I spend with you, even the simple moments. You’ve already changed our lives and there are so many people that are more than excited to meet you. They want to watch you learn, grow and smile. Please know how incredibly loved you are…you’ll never be alone in this world. Your fur siblings are ready to meet you, too (they’re driving me insane right now).

Sweetheart, I wish you a life filled with wonder, laughter, smiles, and beauty. I want you to always appreciate the little things and one day you’ll realize they were the big things. I want you to find your passion(s) and follow your heart and dreams, fearlessly. I also want you to know that you will forever be my baby and my best friend. 

I love you Grey 💙 Mommy and Daddy can’t wait to meet you. Xoxo 

Feeling Twenty Three

November 4, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Today is my twenty-third birthday and as I do each year, I am looking forward to new beginnings and adventures. I feel as though I turned twenty-two yesterday, but as we all know, time goes by so incredibly fast. I never thought that on my twenty-third birthday I wouldn’t be swallowing down an expensive martini, or that I’d be celebrating not only my birthday but 35 weeks of pregnancy. Life has a way of unfolding in ways we couldn’t have predicted. Life is terrifying and beautiful and I’m focusing on the beauty today.

I have an amazing fiancé and a gorgeous life. I’m so excited to meet my baby and to start a new, exciting chapter with Andrew. I am planning our 2019 wedding and I’m so lucky to have such amazing, supportive friends (more like family) by my side through everything. I’m lucky to have parents who help me when I need it, despite the fact that I’m an adult and fiercely independent. I’m also lucky to have found myself and for everything I’ve accomplished. After my twenty-first birthday I went through immense life changes, said goodbye to a relationship, and I also lost a piece of myself as I struggled to rebuild and revive. I then became a ballroom dancer and with the help of my old dance partner and teacher, Franddy I created a new life for myself. I became stronger, fiercer, and more independent. I chased shots and dreams, not people.

I am now happier than I’ve ever been in my life; Andrew has shown me what true love is and reminded me of what I deserve. Ladies, find a man who gives you the world and makes you his.* I wish I could go back and tell my younger self how beautiful and special my life would become. I wish I could tell the girl who struggled to exist after being raped that everything will be okay. If I could go back and show my younger self a slideshow of my current life (Andrew, baby Greyson, and all of my accomplishments), I know I would’ve understood why I had to endure certain losses, leave the past behind, and move forward. We never understand in the moment of change or heartache why we must go through what we go through, but once you climb your way to the top of the mountain, the view is everything.

Everyone views their twenty-first birthday as the milestone birthday, but twenty-three marks one of the greatest milestones of my life…the year I become a mom. This year I become a mom, a wife, and I fully let go of the past. I won’t be needing the past anymore. The shadows and ghosts that have been by my side for years are no longer with me. For anyone who has yet to turn twenty-three, or twenty-one for that matter, you will realize so much during your early twenties. You will no longer care about petty drama, finances will change, and you’ll view everything differently (and I mean everything). You may become a young mom, like me and find the man (or woman) of your dreams. You’ll look back at your distant high school memories, past mistakes, and lessons learned and take a deep breath because you made it. You’ll go out to eat with your lover on a Friday night and you’ll look to the right, noticing a group of loud, naive teenagers and you’ll smile. You’ll smile because that was once you and you’ll never be that loud or naive again.

My advice to anyone entering into their early twenties is to leave the past in the past…don’t look in your rearview mirror. You may say goodbye to familiar, comfortable faces and you may feel a little lost as you begin to write a new chapter. Remember, the view from the top of the mountain (your new chapter) is everything. Let the fire inside of you inspire you and focus on finding what ignites your heart. Once you find your passion(s), never let go. Always strive to be another year wiser and truly take in the moments that made you laugh, cry, and grow.

This year, I already feel as though all of my wishes have come true, but as I close my eyes and blow out my candles 🕯 I feel incredibly blessed. Here’s to feeling twenty-three and to 35 weeks of pregnancy with my little pumpkin ♥️

I wish all November babies a happy, healthy, and exciting birthday and a gorgeous year! Xx

Life After Sexual Assault

October 19, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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I’ve been wanting to write about this ever since the Kavanaugh case began, and I’ve always been very open and honest about what happened to me, years back, but I’ve also been trying to focus on only positive feelings during my pregnancy. For those who don’t know, I was raped when I was sixteen years old, by a guy who was one of my closest friends (at the time). He knew me as a person, was close with my mom, spent hours at a time in my personal space and old home, we went on adventures, and we helped each other through teenage drama/heartache. It was a late, weird night that turned into an actual nightmare for me, and a night which changed my life permanently. I watched every second of the Kavanaugh case and would like to say honestly, that it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch and the most frustrating for me; I don’t view this as a Democratic vs. Republican issue AT ALL. I view this as a societal issue and a true lack of compassion for victims, especially women who deal with any form of assault, whether that’s sexual assault, verbal abuse, etc. I would also like to say, I am not here to write about whether or not Kavanaugh assaulting Ford is true, or not. I know what I believe to be true, but that’s not what this post is about.

We need to start listening and changing the way we view victims. Victims of all sorts are always blamed. Does that make any logical sense? It doesn’t matter how long it has been since Ford said she was assaulted (it doesn’t matter when she told her husband, or the world), OR, what party she stands behind. I will say, as a survivor of sexual assault, coming forward and being open about assault doesn’t bring about anything for the victim, but PTSD, fear, and due to our societies lack of compassion, a lot of shame and regret. No one who was ever assaulted came forward to gain something, because there is no reward system for victims. I did personally feel incredibly brave and stronger after speaking up (at the young age of sixteen), but that didn’t wipe away the negativity and pain which followed my honesty. Coming forward is terrifying and Ford had nothing to gain from doing so, which I would know very well.

At age sixteen, I finally spoke up about what happened to me (a few months after the sexual assault) and I sat in a small, dank room with a rude detective, telling him the uncomfortable and scary details of that night (over and over again). I can still smell the coffee on the detective’s breath and the weird odor from the room I was in. I was asked questions which made me feel as though somehow, I caused the rape. He did, in fact, ask me, what I was wearing (classic shaming). Ladies, you can walk around naked and that doesn’t give ANY man the right to touch you.** I was made to feel embarrassed, foolish, and wrong, despite the fact that I had done NOTHING wrong. I pressed charges, charges which never went to court (weeks dragged on and I felt emotionally drained), because my local police department failed me, 100%. They allowed him to bring in close male friends (who went to our school), to be interviewed about what I was accusing him of, after he was waived up to age eighteen (opposed to the age he was when the sexual assault occurred, which was seventeen), and he was slapped in the face with serious sexual assault charges. I know he was shocked, because he never thought I’d say a word.

His friends who were interviewed called me provocative, a slut, and a liar. They verbally assaulted me in the hallways of my high school, threatened me, and I lost “friends” after everything I went through. Years later, when I was dating my ex, the same guy who raped me threw beer bottles and cans at my pickup truck and home (more than once), and he had a severe altercation with my ex, in front of my house. The pain and continued harassment lasted way beyond the night I was sexually assaulted. I had to explain to a newer officer of my township, after reporting the beer bottle incident to the police, that I had desperately tried to press charges against him when I was sixteen and no one would help me.

My mom went off on the detective who failed me (having my back as much as she possibly could), explaining to him how incredibly common rape is, even in the military (she handed him a packet of rape statistics), but sadly, many don’t speak up (because it’s traumatic). I never blame anyone for keeping traumatic experiences hidden in the shadows, because I truly understand how hard it is to say the powerful words out loud, but as a writer, I knew I could help others feel less alone by being brutally honest about the trauma I endured. I’ve had strangers reach out to me after I first wrote about being raped on my blog, years ago. I heard from people in other countries, people I went to high school with who had no idea and young girls dealing with different levels of bullying/abuse. I’m glad I spoke up. I was in therapy for years, was prescribed medication for anxiety and depression (I no longer take anything), dealt with sleepless nights, drank a little too much, partied hard, and I was diagnosed with not only major depression, but also Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

img_2819 (I tried my hardest to have a “normal”
high school experience, which was impossible…)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an adventure (and not a fun one). I am proud to say, I have come so very far since that time in my life, but I still have moments of insecurity and PTSD never leaves you. You learn to live with it. Pain changes you, permanently.

For anyone whose questioned Ford, based off of the details she remembers from that night (and again, I’m not here to discuss what’s true or not)…trauma snaps you into fight or flight mode. You may not remember every detail, because that is your body/mind’s natural reaction to a traumatic event (assault, car accident, robbery, etc.) and actually, a way of protecting you and keeping you focused on survival. I know from my own experience, that I didn’t remember every detail, but I remembered enough, which is what catapulted me into an unforeseen darkness. I remember what I was wearing, the temperature, the time he arrived at my house, what he was wearing, and the music I was listening to before he arrived at my house (Kenny Chesney). I remember the taste of vodka entering my mouth hours later after I was confronted head-on with the painful realization, and the hysterical phone call I made to my friend at the time, trying to explain to her what just happened to me (impossible).

I remember picking up my lace thong off of the floor, which he had ripped off of me, and looking at my changed reflection in my floor-length mirror. There were bite marks on me and by the next day, subtle bruising. I punched the mirror in my bathroom around three am, leaving a bruise on my fist and a small crack in the mirror, feeling angry, betrayed, and out of control. I felt as though he had taken something from me and I had lost full control over myself, my emotions, and my life. It was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever endured. I don’t think I had ever hit or punched anything either, prior to that night (totally out of character for me). I can tell you so many, painful details from the night I was raped, but I cannot tell you the exact date, nor can I tell you why it happened to me, or how a guy I once trusted turned into a monster. School doesn’t prepare you at age sixteen for what life throws at you with no warning. I was forced to grow up and after experiencing such an immense trauma, I lost my naivety and innocence.

Ford should not be blamed for only remembering certain details from her assault, because that is common and natural. No one should ever be questioned or judged the way she’s been (regardless of what you believe to be true) after coming forward with something as personal as assault. She also shouldn’t be blamed for coming forward, despite how many years it took for her to do so, and as I said before, this horrible case has nothing to do with political parties. It has to do with a wake up call; we live in a world that needs to change and a world that needs to teach young men (and boys) not to rape, assault, and shame women, regardless of their status or mindset. I don’t care how much money you come from, where you went to school, who you partied with, how educated you are, or what title you possess. I care about how you treat humans, animals, and the planet. I care about how you present yourself to the world and what you bring to the table, and I don’t think we will ever repair the damage that was done during the Kavanaugh case, but it is never too late to make positive waves. His case triggered emotions in many and it has awakened a lot of quiet souls.

When I turned eighteen I got my very first tattoo, a small script which reads “breathe” on my wrist. I got that tattoo to remind myself, no matter what I was, or am feeling during the day, to simply look down and take a deep breath. I could finally breathe again. I had survived so much and I would never allow another person to steal away my happiness and strength.

img_4536 (This was taken after signing for my first tattoo, in New York City, at age eighteen…)

I remind everyone whose endured trauma to keep fighting and to never give up…I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I’m thankful for beautiful days and the beautiful people in my life. There is light at the end of every tunnel and it takes time, but we learn to fight through the darkness, instead of fearing the dark.*

Even When We’re Ghosts

October 3, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Although, my boyfriend was recently upgraded to my fiance, I still want to wish my man a Happy National Boyfriend (fiance) Day! There’s a day dedicated to everything, even tacos, so I am sure as hell going to celebrate a day dedicated to the man who gives me the world. This is an updated thank you letter, to my partner through thick and thin. I wrote a lengthy thank you letter, on my blog to him months back, but our lives have changed greatly since then. I’m always thankful for us.

Dear Andrew,

I cannot believe how much we have to be thankful for and the fact that you’re no longer my boyfriend, but my fiance. You’re more than a label, baby. You’re my life and we’re more than just a chapter…we’re an entire book. I remember the feeling you gave me the moment you first kissed me (you pulled me onto your lap in your old truck) and that feeling hasn’t left. You’ll text me something sweet or call me just to say “I love you” and I smile so brightly, just like I did when we first met. Life’s an ocean with moments of still water and moments filled with intense currents, but I’m sure there’s no one else I’d rather ride the waves with, than you. When you asked me to be your girlfriend on November 12, 2017 you changed my entire life. Then, you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you on September 15, 2018 and you confirmed what I already knew a year ago…it was you. I love you always, forever, no matter what.

Thank you for loving me the way every woman wants to be loved and for treating me the way I deserve to be treated.

Thank you for holding me tight and for making me never want to leave our bed in the morning.

Thank you for renovating our home and for making everything perfect for us and baby Greyson, despite long days and intense projects. I really am so appreciative and I know how much work it is.

Thank you for never giving up, no matter how long or trying the day, and for always giving me strength on the days I need it most. #mysuperman

Thank you for being a sarcastic pain in the ass and a thoughtful, romantic gentleman all at  once.

Thank you for coming with me to doctor’s visits, hospital nights, and for being by my side through every step of the pregnancy. We’re almost there…

Thank you for putting up with me on my stressful, dramatic days and for always reminding me, that everything will be okay. You’re my balance on the days I need positive vibes and love.

Thank you for never fighting with me and for always being open to communicating and talking about whatever is on my mind, or yours.

Thank you for making me feel special, loved, and blessed (every single day).

Thank you for being there for my mom, family, and myself through everything we endured over the summer. We’re stronger than anything life throws at us.

Thank you for proving to me with actions, not just words, that you’re the one for me and for continuously sweeping me off my feet. 

Thank you for surprising me with thoughtful words, gifts, and special moments.

& thank you for finding me, my love.

I love you and I could write a novel, thanking you for days, but I know you’d kill me if you had to read that long of a letter. Remember, even when we’re ghosts…#lovestory

Xx

 

My Happily Ever After…

September 18, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Saturday night, September 15, my best friend asked me to marry him and I said, YES! I am engaged and beyond thankful for him, baby Greyson, and our beautiful life together. Sorry, but this gal is officially off the market! Andrew and I met out of the blue and he instantly changed my life, in more ways than one. He sweeps me off my feet everyday, but Saturday night he took my breath away and reminded me of just how lucky I am.

He planned a dinner at the restaurant where we had our first date (so thoughtful), Pasta Vino, and my parents, his parents, his brother, and the restaurant staff were all a part of the big surprise, which made it that much more special. I spent Saturday going to the movies with one of my closest friends and getting ready for our normal, family dinner later that night. I slipped into sky-high heels and a cute outfit, starving and ready to eat. I’m always perpetually early, which everyone in my life knows, and my mom was taking forever (she was giving Andrew time to prepare, which I didn’t know). I believed it was just a casual dinner for my parents and his to bond further, before Greyson is born. Our champagne brunch baby shower is just around the corner; it made sense that my mom would want to have an intimate dinner with his parents. I was honestly clueless!

I met Andrew and his parents at the restaurant, arriving at the same time as my parents. Andrew walked me into the familiar restaurant (he looked perfect and he told me how beautiful I looked) and we were escorted to our table; I bumped into a friend who works at the restaurant, who was acting oddly (almost emotional) when she saw me. I sat down at the table, and as my parents and his began to chat, a familiar song played in the background. As I was reading the menu (confused as to what I wanted), Andrew said “Babe, they’re playing our song”. I thought it was such a coincidence that the restaurant was playing the song Andrew dubbed as ours, but I completely ignored the necessary cue and started talking about something else (typical me). I now know, Andrew had Pasta Vino play that song just for us, and he intended on our song being a cue for everyone at the table to be quiet. Of course, our parents paid little attention to Andrew’s directions (oh, family).

He stared into my eyes, beginning to speak and I was still oblivious to the moment that would change my entire life, but as the table fell silent I looked into his eyes. He told me he loved me and as he got down on one knee, he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I then see out of the corner of my eye…Matt, his brother, approaching with a gorgeous bouquet of white and soft-pink flowers, and a jewelry box (Matt was hiding and waiting for the moment). I felt my heart beat faster and everything around me faded away. I forgot where we were for a moment. Andrew opened up the jewelry box and my mouth fell open; I began to cry, feeling overwhelmed with happiness and completely blown away by how much thought my love put into every, little detail. I said, YES, proudly and without any hesitation. I stood up, touching my baby bump, our baby Greyson and wrapped my arms around Andrew. I kissed him and he placed the elegant, timeless ring on my finger and I felt as though I was in a movie, or one of my own stories. I hugged Matt, thanking him for being there, and I could hear the strangers around us clapping and congratulating. One woman who was seated across from us actually began to cry. The restaurant staff put my beautiful bouquet of flowers (which still greet me every morning, beside our bed) in a vase and poured us all an expensive glass of champagne. We literally popped some bubbly, because I’m getting a hubby!

It was a perfect night, filled with family, laughter, and a celebration of us, and although nothing ever goes as planned (we plan and the universe laughs), Andrew poured his heart and soul into that night and I’ll never forget how happy and excited I felt. He also told me afterwards that he asked my mom’s permission before proposing, which meant so much to me. My man got down on one knee and asked me to be his, forever…#lovestory

There are moments in our life which mark a before and after, and they’re not moments that we experience often. The moments I am describing are rare, beautiful, and meaningful. They create a situation in which our past fades away completely and we’re nowhere but the present. We bask in the now and look forward to the future, because a new chapter is beginning. When I found out I was pregnant with Andrew’s baby, that was a moment which marked a before and after, and all I could see from that moment forward was our baby and the adventure ahead of us. I still remember the feeling that washed over me when the doctor came into the room and said, “Lizzie, you’re definitely pregnant”. Andrew gave me yet another, breathtaking moment which marked a before and after in my life and I’m forever thankful.

Andrew, I was sure I loved you when I felt the life I once knew fade away. You became the start to my new life and I’ve never looked back, not even for a second. I cannot imagine my life without you and I fall asleep every night, tangled up with you, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. You know that amazing feeling when you wake up on a Sunday morning, with nothing to do that day, but sleep in and wander around half-naked? You feel carefree and content knowing you have an entire day to relax and do what makes you happy, even if that’s simply curling up on the couch and watching a movie. That’s what it feels like being in love with you. I wake up every morning with this incredible, never-ending feeling that it’s going to be a perfect life, just like that perfect Sunday. I want you to know that I will never leave your side. I gave all of my heart to you and only you. I love you.

 

I hope everyone reading this entry experiences a before and after moment, because in this crazy, chaotic, unpredictable life, those moments are everything.

Xo

 

A Moment of Reflection

September 11, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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A Note to the World on 9/11

On this grey, infamous day in American history we remember those we lost (rest peacefully), and honor those who continue to fight for us and our freedom; we will never forget the pain we endured on 9/11. It was a bright, sunny day in New York City that began with normal conversations and coffee, but ended with an altered world and incredible loss. I was almost six years old and despite my young age, I remember that day as if it were five minutes ago. Many of my family members who currently reside (and did reside) in New York City were in the city (close to Ground Zero) when the towers collapsed, and I remember not knowing if they were safe (my brother included), or my dad, who worked for the State of New Jersey and was in lock down. We had no idea what was going to happen next and that is always the most terrifying aspect of tragedy…waiting. I remember the look on my mother’s face as our TV flashed with images of the towers, smoke, and the changed NYC skyline, and realizing that nothing would ever be the same. I have a beautiful, personal connection with NYC; I grew up going there on weekends, spending every holiday in the lit up city, and spending my teenage years getting lost in the city that never sleeps. I crave the city lights when I go too long without visiting. 9/11 is always an emotional day for me because of the way I feel for my favorite city and because today marks a day we will never escape, but will continue to grow from.

Despite the immense loss, pain, and grief we felt and continue to feel on this day, we must remember to remain strong and never give in to ignorance, hatred, or violence. Terrorists have a 100% failure rate, and to understand that, you must first understand that terrorist attacks always achieve the opposite of what the perpetrators originally wanted. We did not break, fall, or give up…we did the complete opposite. We grew, recovered, and changed. We live in a strange, negative world, but we’re stronger than at times, we realize. Today is a day of reflection and should be a day filled with not only remembrance, but positive thinking. Spend today being silent in more ways than one; get lost in your thoughts and refocus your energy. Do something creative and reflect. Reflection isn’t meant to hinder progress, but encourage us to move beyond what we’ve been through and either rebuild, or keep building (build yourself up, build your family, build your empire, etc.). Move forward with strength, motivation, and a bright smile.

My heart is with those we lost on this somber day and with the families who are forever mourning the loss of their loved ones. My heart is with my favorite city, our gorgeous NYC and the forever altered skyline that has inspired so many artists, writers, and visitors. We love you New York…

I wish everyone a beautiful, healthy, and creative day filled with hope and strength. We will keep fighting and just a like a tree, we allow our leaves to fall, but we never stop growing.

Xo

Surviving High School

August 23, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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I know that for many returning high school students fall can be a stressful and scary period of time, because it’s filled with unknown school issues, bullying, familiar faces, secrets from the summer vacation, and insane expectations. You want to look and do your absolute best, especially the older you get. Keep your head up and your dreams close. I’m here to guide you through the rough days and laugh with you on the bright ones.

First off, take a breath. I know how hard school can be and I don’t mean academically, but socially and mentally. Girls are cruel. Boys are clueless and the teachers are tough. Remember, no matter how popular the girl or guy is returning to school, they feel the same way you do (believe it or not). Don’t let loads of makeup and hair extensions fool you, even the “popular” girls feel insecure and fearful. It’s called being human. Everyone has insecurities, issues, and a home life that has its problems. No one is free from family pressure or financial stress, regardless of how flawless a person’s life may seem. Now, I know it’s easy for me to sit here, typing happily on my laptop as I’m at work, far away from the high school world, and give you sound advice; I understand that. Although, I am no longer in high school and I am out in the real world, ready to become a mom and start the next chapter of my life, I went through heartache, bullying, lies and secrets during my four years of high school. I was sexually assaulted my Sophomore year, lost “friends” from year to year, had my heart broken, fell in and out of “love”, went to many parties, drank lots of liquor and smoked some weed, my dad had a stroke, my family endured incredible change, and I was bullied by insecure, dramatic girls. I can say now, as a strong, motivated twenty-two year old that high school fades fast. I promise you, there’s so much beauty to come and those who are still living in the past won’t make it very far. We all know someone who LOVED high school and wants to go back (maybe they still wear their high school ring), but you have to wonder…why? Why go backwards when you can move forward and create new chapters? There’s nothing worth seeing in your rearview mirror.

My advice is to change the world with your passion, ferocity, and individuality; don’t allow the world to change you. It’s intimidating going up against a pack of mean girls, but knowing who you are and remaining true to yourself is just as powerful a weapon as a loaded gun. Kill them with kindness and a eye-catching wardrobe. Be nice to everyone, even if it kills you. When that handsome boy or pretty girl breaks your heart, move on and realize it is only the beginning. Yes, you can still eat some chocolate and cry, but don’t spend too many nights wallowing. You will find much more heartache and love in the future, I promise. Fashion knows no rules or limitations and your youth is the time to discover your own, crazy, fun sense of style. Fashion is what you buy, but style is what you do with it…remember that quote*.

Regardless of the secrets that have followed you into the halls of your school, from your summer break, never deny or confirm anything. Let them talk and wonder. If they’re talking (good or bad) they’re still paying attention to you and that always says more about them than you. Never stoop as low as a bully. You want revenge? It’s not worth it. Karma is my favorite gal and she sure is a bitch when she wants to be. If someone hurts you and causes you pain, the universe knows. Trust that the universe has a plan for you and everyone around you, regardless of what you believe in spiritually, trust that statement. What goes around comes around in mysterious and magical ways. Don’t let an insecure, awful person ruin your whole year or break you. You’re too strong for that, darling.

There is so much life after high school. Hang in there. I cry over the souls who found high school too much to bare and didn’t make it to the next stage in their life. Please, if you are feeling alone or broken, I am here. Don’t you dare give up and don’t allow others to steal your happiness. Also, don’t let your happiness depend on a person, because sadly, people leave. Some souls are lost not because of depression, but because of foolish “friends” and recreational drugs. Your life is fragile and valued…take risks, but also take precautions. Being young and reckless can turn into a living nightmare, insanely fast. I spent many nights feeling bent and broken, but I woke up the next day and pushed forward through the brutal battle of high school and the infamous teenage years. The teenage years as I always say consist of drama, lies, and tears. The smiles and picture-perfect moments aren’t always as frequent as the days of heartache and stress. Of course, everyone experiences something different in high school. Some are bullied, some are adored, and some are ignored. Regardless of your personal experience, high school is only a tiny fragment in your life story. Writing sentences never ends.

College is wonderful if that is the path you choose, but you can do whatever you want and be whoever you want to be. I thrived academically during high school (minus math), but I realized once I graduated that I didn’t want to go to college. I was accepted into all of the schools I had applied to, but college life wasn’t for me. I know my passions and my strengths and I knew that I could make it without a college degree. Many who graduate from top schools are left with no job and a lot of debt, or they find themselves in a job that doesn’t satisfy them as a person. If I ever choose to pursue a degree one day, I certainly can and now I have incredible life and work experiences to back me up. There’s always time! It’s okay to work, discover what you love, and wait. Life is short and a degree isn’t everything. You are not judged in the end by the money you had, the degrees you collected, or the cars you drove. You’re judged by heart, spirit, and experiences.

I know it feels as though you have a lifetime to make decisions, experience the world, and fall in love with life, and yes, you do have time…but, time is a funny thing. It goes by so, incredibly fast and each moment we are here is special and as I mentioned before, our lives are fragile. No one knows exactly how long they have to spend on this earth, so if there is something you wish to do, something you wish to say, or someone you wish to know, don’t waste any time. I appreciate all of the chaos, pain, and happiness I endured within my twenty-two years on this planet, because every moment has become a part of me. I look at Andrew, my baby bump, my parents, friends, family, my animals, ballroom dancing, and everything I’ve worked for and I feel thankful. I wouldn’t want to spend my time (however long that is) with anyone else, or as anyone else. I can honestly say, I love who I am and the life I’ve created. I remember turning seventeen, and then eighteen. Nineteen is a blur, and then before I knew it, I was twenty-one years old. It was “the moment” everyone waits for and yet, twenty-two has been more beautiful and fulfilling than twenty-one. Age is just a number, my loves. Milestones aren’t numbers, they’re experiences. The first time you kiss your true love, finding out you’re pregnant, having a baby, creating a home, finding that perfect job, and traveling to amazing places…those are milestones. Turning eighteen, twenty-one, and even forty aren’t milestones. Measure your life in dreams and love.

I wish everyone returning to high school, beginning high school, or embarking on another journey the best of luck. I wish I knew then what I know now, but unfortunately that isn’t how life works. You must live to learn and the learning never stops. Every day I discover something new about myself and the world around me. Open your eyes to new experiences, ideas, and dreams. Lastly, always search for the beauty around you and make the most of each moment, because this isn’t the dress rehearsal…this is it.

Xo

Lizzie

 

Follow me on Instagram: lizziemognoni & if you haven’t already, follow my blog and always stay tuned for more…

 

The Back to Cool Guide

August 20, 2018
by Lizzie Mognoni
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Whether you’re heading back to the hallways of your high school this fall or returning to work, this post is for you…

Fall is a time for change, reflection, and planning. I’m here to guide you through upcoming fashion trends for Fall 2018 (what I love and what I wish would disappear), back-to-school essentials and planning, and workplace organization.

I am crazy about fall fashion and with each season there’s something to celebrate (and criticize) when it comes to new trends and styles. Of course, what is featured on the runway during Fashion Week in our favorite cities, trickles down to our favorite boutiques and stores usually in a subtle way. What Givenchy and Alexander McQueen are representing on the runway is the definition of wearable art, and although Michael Kors and Marc Jacobs may feature the same trends and colors, their pieces as designers are everyday fashion. Alexander McQueen is my favorite designer and he’s the reason I fell in love with design; if I could, I would wear his incredible pieces everyday, but that isn’t practical (or affordable). Runway fashion knows no limits, but as you’re heading back to work, or school you need functional, eye-catching fashion.

These are some trends to expect this fall and possibly fall in love with yourself…

Hoods are going to be big this fall, with designers such as Valentino and Margiela displaying luxurious, streetwear hoods on the runway. Regardless of how you rock “the hood” during the colder months, the fashion industry wants heads covered. Do I love it or should we lose it? I LOVE it. It’s not my favorite trend, but I appreciate it.

Leather has never left the limelight and many designers fall for new, leather trends each year and showcase coats, bags, boots, etc. Givenchy and Hermes are rocking the runway with leather-looks for this upcoming season, with leather trench coats flaunting their way down the catwalk. Do I love it or should we lose it? I am not a lover of leather, because it harms so many animals. I buy as much faux leather as possible and another amazing material is faux suede, which is 100% animal-friendly and actually, a stronger material than natural suede. So, I would have to say LOSE this trend.

Cowboy is appearing all over the place in Western-inspired outfits and even home décor! Designers such as Calvin Klein are taking over the runway with “Cowboy” style. Prairie dresses and cowboy boots are here and it’s a wearable trend for back-to-school. Do I love it or should we lose it? I LOVE this trend! I love the ease and playfulness of bohemian, Western-wear.

Plaid will forever remind us of the colder weather and cozy scarves, but this trend is hot for fall/winter 2018 in various forms. Versace featured a 90’s inspired plaid look on the runway, which would’ve had Cher Horowitz, from Clueless smiling and craving a new outfit. You can rock a cozy, plaid infinity scarf, or go for a plaid pea coat as the weather gets colder. This trend works for everyone and can be overplayed or underplayed. Americana-inspired plaid (one of my favorite forms) was represented by Calvin Klein on the fashion stage, but all forms of plaid are appearing this upcoming season. It’s even the perfect time to cozy up your bedroom or living area with plaid pillows, or a throw. Do I love it or should we lose it? I LOVE this trend and it’s one of my favorites for fall. It has so many possibilities from home to fashion. It’s simplistic and yet, designers are having fun with crazy, interesting plaid styles.

Tweed comes in a phenomenal range of colors, textures, and styles, but patterns such as houndstooth (which was made famous in the 1960’s) is still a very popular tweed pattern, adored by many. Tweed was first introduced during the 18th Century through the British aristocracy and has never faded in the fashion industry. Louis Vuitton and Miu Miu inspired the runway with tweed fashion, from skirts to coats that women will crave this autumn. Do I love it or should we lose it? I LOVE tweed. Tweed is timeless and chic and offers numerous wardrobe choices. I would definitely fall in love with a few tweed pieces for the back-to-school season AND for work!

Animal print is on the prowl this season in all forms, from wild to subdued. Animal print is sometimes viewed as trashy, but the designers know how to do it up…or, do it totally wrong on the runway when it comes to leopard, cheetah, and zebra print. Tiger stripes are even making their debut this season, with snow leopard patterns becoming a desire. A handbag or coat will always be a great way to display animal print without overpowering or harming your wardrobe. Fashion houses have given animal print a supportive thumbs up for Fall 2018. Do I love it or should we lose it? I LOVE it, as long as the print is worn tastefully. Have fun with this trend ladies and gents!

What do I consider to be some back-to-school essentials for Fall 2018?

Red is another trend this fall, so why not exploit the color red when it comes to your school supplies? Rock a pretty, red notebook or a red, faux leather backpack. Also, ladies red is the perfect color for your pop of color lipstick this coming season!

A perfect, functional backpack or laptop bag is a must for any high school or college student. I always loved buying a beautiful, new backpack each year. I also have the same laptop bag from senior year of high school and it’s still in perfect condition…thank you, Henri Bendel. Michael Kors makes pretty and spacious backpacks, as does Kate Spade. Vera Bradley is also a great alternative to those who want to stray away from leather, and or leather alternatives and go for a colorful, fun back-to-school bag.

A cute, durable travel mug for coffee or tea is more than just a want. I am not a coffee girl, but I love a Chai Tea Latte in the morning. Sometimes, we just need something to distract us from the fact that we have to wake up at the crack of dawn and face God knows what during the day. Purchase a pretty, large-enough travel mug and carry it with you wherever you go, whether that’s class or work. I have a nice, strong mermaid themed travel mug from Starbucks and I love it. This purchase will do wonders when you’re sick with a cough or a sore throat, but forced to be out and about. Stock up on teas you can make at home, too (money saver).

A planner is not only a cute accessory to carry around with you, but they’re a necessity as you enter into the adult world. Trust me, your planner will become your shadow. I am constantly buying a new planner and I use mine every single day to organize my life. Shop at Target, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon!

A practical and pretty study/alone time space is essential. Whether you like to cuddle up on the couch, sit in bed, or be upright and alert at a desk, splurge on a new lamp, a cuddly throw blanket, and some candles. I write at my desk or on the couch and everything has to be clean and organized around me, or I can’t concentrate. I love lighting a candle and during the colder months, wrapping myself in a blanket and cracking the window open, inhaling the fresh air. Make alone time comfortable and productive.

Are you heading back to work or dreading your current work environment/schedule?

One, if you hate your job…leave. I don’t care how much you earn if you’re miserable. Life is too short to spend each day stressed, depressed, or angry. There’s always another job (I promise). Two, if you do love your job but HATE getting up in the morning, do something each morning that you enjoy. Some require a simple cup of coffee to wake up and get started, but others require a little extra. Do yoga, go for a walk, watch a movie, read a book, or spend time with your pet(s). I usually clean a little, feed my animals and spend some time with them, watch Netflix (or write), and then get ready for my day. You can always workout (at home or at the gym) or go for a leisurely walk before heading to work. Lastly, if organizational skills aren’t your thing, buy a planner, keep your desk at home, or at work clean and organized (have fun with it), and fall in love with a new wardrobe. Sometimes, retail therapy is truly all we need to feel refreshed and less stressed. Clothes are not only pretty but they’re essential. At work, we need to feel and look our best. Fall is the time to donate clothes and furniture we no longer need and invest in what we will actually use. Again, have fun with all of this! Cleaning and simplifying your life should feel liberating. If you don’t want to do it alone, include your friends and family in the upcoming projects you want to tackle during the fall.

I hope you feel ready for sweater weather and excited for Fall 2018! Find beauty and inspiration in each season…

Xo