To be lonely is to feel an ache in your heart, but to be alone is to be strong and independent. I’m going to teach you an incredibly important lesson ladies and gents, about being content with being alone. When you’re alone you are 100% yourself, so be fun, creative, and brilliant, and steer clear of sadness, my loves.

When I was growing up there were times when I had little to no friends. I went to a few different schools (I was a private school girl for years) and I dealt with mean, insecure girls every where I went. I was always outgoing, vibrant, and a lot to handle (in a good way) but that doesn’t always make you miss popularity. In fact, girls who suffer from insecurity tend to like the less bubbly girl far more, because she isn’t a threat. It’s easy to compete with someone who has no shine. I came home every day feeling left out, but I had my animals…they were my best friends. I literally don’t know what I would’ve done without them! I was lonely…not alone. When you’re young you constantly crave that attention from other people, but the older you get the more you realize that at the end of the day, all you need is YOU. Bullying faded away the older and more confident I became. I have beautiful, incredible people in my life now. I am thankful for the ones who’ve never left.

I quickly realized after I was raped, that I don’t need others to feel happy and fulfilled. I need the fire inside of me and a ton of passion. I was always a writer, which kept me from losing it! I now am a writer, a dancer, a fashion/retail professional, an animal owner/advocate, and insanely happy with the life I’ve created. I now LOVE to be alone. I love my time to myself, whether I’m spending the day going on an adventure, or I’m writing and watching Netflix. I was in a four year relationship that ended fairly recently, and although he’s still a part of my life, I was afraid that I would fall apart without him with me 24/7. When you go from waking up next to a person, and falling asleep next to them every single day, to not having them around as much (or at all) it can feel as if your world is ending. I promise, nothing is that earth shattering, even if it feels like it in the moment. I was sad and shocked when the breakup first happened, and I still have my moments, of course. But, I have learned to embrace my alone time. I am strong and independent and I have the passion to keep going, with or without others. It’s important to find out who you are, separate from other people. At the end of the day what you feel, want, and need is what truly matters.

Regardless of what you’re dealing with (a break up, a friendship ending, normal life stresses, a death, feeling lost, etc.) don’t be lonely…just be content with yourself. There is always another day for friends, meeting new people, and falling in love. But, sometimes life becomes too hectic and there’s not enough time for you to invest in yourself and your own goals. If you’re beginning to feel yourself slip into the “lonely” realm fall in love with a new hobby, or get a second job (if money is your current goal). Focus your energy on something positive and worthwhile. Although alcohol isn’t a cure-all by any means, sometimes all I need is a good book and a glass of wine. Unwind, release any negativity that is dragging you down, take a deep breath, and relax. It isn’t a crime to enjoy time alone and away from the rest of the world. We actually need time to ourselves, along with spending time with the people we love. We’d lose ourselves completely if we never had a moment alone. Silence can be haunting, but it can also be healing.

One way to always feel lonely (and like crap) is to constantly view yourself as having nothing, and no one. Even if you’re in a period of time where you don’t have a lot of friends or family beside you, that doesn’t mean you have nothing. Loneliness is a state of mind. As I always say, fake it until you make it. If you aren’t happy, smile anyway and before you know it, that smile will be authentic. Negativity is a bad habit. Positive, upbeat people flock to other positive people. Your vibe attracts your tribe! If you’ve been feeling lonely for far too long, it’s time to change your attitude and embrace being alone and never lonely. It sounds confusing, but it’s pretty simple. Spend your days loving every breath you take, and soon enough you’ll have a perfect balance; days spent on your own (feeling good about yourself), and days spent with the right people surrounding you. I survived the worst because I gave myself no other option. Fight for yourself and a happy life.

I wish everyone the best on their journey to finding happiness, peace, and balance. There’s a fire inside all of us…go ignite those flames, even if you’re doing it alone.

XO